Messiah as Snake, Worm, Tomato and Lemon 1111

 

We Chase What We See Shine In The Light of Our Own Mind, Up and Down

I have always done my best to be as honest as I possibly can while describing here what I see going on inside of me. It has been my unceasing belief that I am undergoing a hitherto unknown metamorphosis of being. I have been having a spectacular and completely unpredictable transformation of the way I experience one moment to the next and how I interpret the nexus of synchronized events that has become the narrative of my life. 

My life study has become what I have now learned is called, "Narratology as a Description of Ludology".
 
"Narratology-the branch of knowledge or literary criticism that deals with the structure and function of narrative and its themes, conventions, and symbols." 
 

Elongated  Lives of Leisure Seek Engagement In The Addictive Pleasures Of Games

   All narratives are about games of hide and seek, lessons earned and learned if only the lesson being that lessons are futile and pointless. The Ludology ( the study of games and gaming, especially video games) of seek and destroy or seek and discover, preserve and maintain, or whatever it be, a narrative is a description of some unfolding game and the narrative and the game are meant to engage and entertain while we are being cultivated for consumption.
 

God, Squeeze me and I won't regret It!

  We are all lemons meant to be squeezed for our juices, our feelings and thoughts and ideas are all products of celestial agriculture, we are grapes made into wine for the enjoyment of what is so far beyond our own mind-as to exist  outside  our most wild and dangerously radical abstractions of self purpose. We are meant to be happy and grateful and self aware as we are consumed, for that tastes and smells better and is more easily digested by whatever consumes us. As long as we are happy and grateful and self aware, we are never totally consumed but are more like sweet fruit giving Trees, ourselves. Wouldn't you keep a sweet fruit giving tree? What good is a fig tree that is only disappointing in perpetual non delivery of what you dreamed to eat from it's branches?

 

Not For No Good Reason Have The Hebrew Prophets Compared Israel To A Vineyard

For me, The Process  Of Self Discovery And Description, has been deeply visceral and mostly ineffable, sublime and beyond definition. But I have tried anyway to share everything, my angers and frustrations with other people's minds as they groped with their interpretations of the substance of my writings is self evident in the now, because I have been writing on the internet since March, 2001, and it's all here as if written instantaneously with what I am writing now.

The miracle of knowing the now is in holding in cross reference everything one can perceive at once, in ever longer sustained duration. Memories are now. Ignore nothing, hold all your memories and present perceptions and all the meanings and explanations you have for everything you have ever perceived, and if it all culminates in an epiphany of recognition that is has all been designed down to the smallest detail, benevolently as a process in which you are being cultivated like a tomato plant, whereby you are planned to look and smell and taste the best that can possibly manifest from the seed you come from, if you see this in joyful surrender, you have arrived.

Like a tomato plant. If that idea makes you feel defensively uncomfortable, you haven't arrived yet.

Now I have arrived and moved beyond.

I have been overwhelmed by an intelligence that rises up from within me starting at the root of my physical body, my scrotum. It has mastery over my nervous system and generates sensations throughout my body that are continually and exquisitely blissful but there are pains and angers and frustrations and feelings of shame and self blame , as well as an intensely fierce love for whomever I have ever loved together with a feeling of anger and disdain towards anyone who has ever wronged me from my point of view. It's all there and here as if time has no real power to diminish anything at all but awareness of the painful confusing past in the now, and against that loss of awareness I have fought all my life.

I have always considered all my experiences to be precious treasures.

The bad and the worse and even the very most shameful things I have ever done or that have ever happened to me, I instinctively knew to be my only real fortunes. I have been fortunate, both in deed and in my imagination, where there is no sin I have not imagined myself committing. How important it is to forget nothing at all, particularly that which shames us the most!

I am The Snake, become a great elongated worm, exposed and vulnerable once again, after shedding a skin that had worn thin from friction with the reality I find myself in, again and again. Not of my own making. No product of any design of my own, no manifestation rooted in the seed of the genus of my own kind. I know myself to be absolutely created and by no means a creator of anything at all. I can't begin to express how relieved I am to find this to be the case, because to endure this state of mind one must have a mind and heart with Perfected Faith.

I am completely vulnerable and exposed to the core of my most essential being and can feel pain and misery and despair and yet there is within me, only dispersing and diminishing vestiges of fear. I am certain that I will not fall prey to the jungle nature of the living world that surrounds me and I need do nothing at all to calculate the circumstances of my continuing existence, which I have reason to believe might exceed my expectations.

As The Snake become worm I am manifesting my most potent guile, that being the knowledge that there is no hiding from the Wisdom That is Cultivating Me. It is within me and surrounds me, the source of everything I sense and even what I think, my most outrageous ideas come to me from the same source as whatever pearls I would cast before others. I often feel so much of this is wasted on me because I don't somehow share it. I try to write what I can, before these semantic gems are lost in the cascading treasures that pile up inside of me, before I flush it all down the toilet, once again, and empty myself of any idea that there is any value within me at all but My Love of My Creator and My Desire To Be Part of God's Creation and See my God of Art's Works Unfold.

The Wisdom of The Snake, His Cunning and Guile are in his complete self abandon to self exposure. God, if there is within me sin, I win, because you put it there for me to find and I have found it. As you always knew I would! What love You must have for me that you share thus with me the Glory of My Own Self Discovery and how surprised I am to find myself with no fault of my own, except an attempt to own that which was never and could never be mine.

My very own spine is of fractal design, just like the fractions I see of the ever evasive whole, how superficial must be any visage at all, of anything there is to be seen. I am keen, ever cleaning like Spinoza the lens through which I examine the content of what must be consumed like Man, before it decomposed.

The Worms are Cursed with a Blessing, they eat everything at all, the flesh and the dust it becomes. They are the meek that inherit the earth as shelter and sustenance.
_________________
September 29th, 2017

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!

29283812363938/11=2662164760358

Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

יונתן מיכאל רבינס

Stop! SEE THIS OR DIE STUPID 1111

You, whoever you are, are hereby informed that this man is a Super Hero Radical Prophet of Doom And Gloom With precisely the right instructions for believers and non believers alike. Do your best to use the time you have left to make the best of every moment, moment to moment, the very best you can, as long as you never lose your breath. I mean it. Go, But Go Slow. Enjoy The Scenery. There Will Be Signs And Wonders For Those Who Don't Deny The Creator Will Be What I Will Be

 

This man is speaking the truth. He is The Prophet of Atheists, The Final Messiah of The Faithless Hopeless Godless,
who are about to be pulled into the vortex of The Great Black Hole at the Center of The GALAXY.


I am The Messiah, Son of David, All Who Heed My Teachings and Cling to My Branches Like They Would In A Tempest To A Great Oak Tree, Planted By The Creator On The Right Side of The Bank of Buddha's Stream of Dreams...........1111 Will Live With My Name In Their Hearts.


Hold on to your Hats, The Winds themselves are Confused by My Prayers. Standing Waves are the order of THE DAY.
_________________
September 29th, 2017

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!

29283812363938/11=2662164760358

Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

 
יונתן מיכאל רבינס

Debunking Buddhism- You Are A Unique Self

Know thyself.
 

Be your own lamp.

Refine from the events of your own life, your own belief in truths that bring you increasing peace of mind.

We are all different. No individual's solutions for the difficulties and problems of his or her own life are suitable for all others.

Buddhism is founded on self serving opinions about the nature of reality in that it assumes Samsara and Samsara, the belief in a perpetual life and death cycle of suffering is no more than an idea that assures eternal existence as a resolution to the fear of oblivion on one hand, and the inevitability of one's place in the hierarchy of power and authority, keeping the slaves as slaves and the masters as masters in the present lifetime.

It was a cultural idea that served the powers that be, just a false belief like the belief in many Gods at war as an explanation for the trials and tribulations of human existence. There is no definitive proof for Samsara and there is much more to life than endless suffering. There are other ways to find bliss and immutable peace of mind than denying one's self as an illusion and seeing reality as a tortuous trap.

Opening one's eyes to the glory of Divine Creation, seeing the Magnificent Artistry there is in the motion of every particle as it pursues it's destined place in the narrative of your own life, can awaken feelings of awe and gratitude and loving compassion for all that lives and creation itself, as such are pursued in Buddhism, without necessitating withdrawal from the affairs of mankind and denying one's self the pursuit of one's own selfish happiness, each according to the uniqueness of their own nature. Be Selfish! If feeding others makes you happy, do it. Be Selfish!

We each have a self. To each it is unique. Discovering one's unique self as a Divine Singular Creation, An Ever Dynamic Work of Art, can be the means of achieving a meaning and purpose in life given one by one's Creator, as an act of Unfathomable Compassion and Love, tailored to the genuineness of your own singular character.

These four truths are called noble because they liberate us from suffering. They are the Buddha’s basic teaching, encapsulating the entire Buddhist path.

1. Suffering
Life always involves suffering, in obvious and subtle forms. Even when things seem good, we always feel an undercurrent of anxiety and uncertainty inside.
Yes, it is good to overcome irrational anxieties, but fears are a challenge, the overcoming of which strengthens the heart and increases one's resolve to be true to one's self and manifest the uniqueness of one's own nature, even when doing so means causing discomfort to others who interests are best served by you being what they would have you be. Be true to yourself, BE SELFISH, and trust that it is the nature of yourself to be compassionate and care about life, but not by sacrificing the realization of your own God given nature.

2. The Cause of Suffering
The cause of suffering is craving and fundamental ignorance. We suffer because of our mistaken belief that we are a separate, independent, solid “I.” The painful and futile struggle to maintain this delusion of ego is known as samsara, or cyclic existence.
The cause of suffering is not craving, nor is it fundamental ignorance. The only and single cause of suffering is the manifestation of circumstances that coerce upon us realities that challenge our biological and cultural and individual values, forcing us to realize our freedom to re examine these values and re arrange them in a more life enhancing hierarchy. This is our soul's freedom of choice and the pursuit of wisdom is in the constant reexamination and rearrangement of one's values until one finds the logarithm of personal values that best manifests happiness in one's God given nature. In this is Bliss and Endless Gratitude for life. Emotions and feelings, sensations of all kinds, pleasurable and painful with all the subtleties of pleasure and pain, are indicators of the underlying values and emanating wills and needs to fulfill these wills, each according to his or her own unique nature.
 

3. The End of Suffering
The good news is that our obscurations are temporary. They are like passing clouds that obscure the sun of our enlightened nature, which is always present. Therefore, suffering can end because our obscurations can be purified and awakened mind is always available to us.
Yes, the examination of one's innate biological and cultural values, the values of one's unique self, the discovery of our desires and wills and needs to manifest these values, can bring about a sublime peace of mind that is impervious to death and has no fear of oblivion. But there is no universal structure that holds us all imprisoned in suffering. Some are born cheerful and happy by nature until the day they die. Some are born with criminal natures that commit crimes, causing pain and suffering to others while perfectly at peace with themselves, with no inner conflicts. O.J. Simpson, for example. The magnificence of God's Creativity is expressed in the coming to be of creatures we cannot understand the nature and values of. Creatures that leave us incredulous and defy all our ideas about what human beings are and how they should behave. This causes us again to reexamine our values and our ideas until we find a new context of understanding that restores our peace of mind.
 

4. The Path
By living ethically, practicing meditation, and developing wisdom, we can take exactly the same journey to enlightenment and freedom from suffering that the buddhas do. We too can wake up.

The journey is to the discovery of the dynamic nature of one's own self and it's manifestation. For some this means living unethically, being ignorant, and denying the obvious. Every man's path is his own and no one can determine for another what it is right to do or how to behave. Yes, we must prevent the criminally inclined and the murderous from causing suffering they have no values that would prevent. But this must be done only out of a rational instinct for self preservation and not as a judgemental condemnation of another person's God Given nature.
_________________
September 29th, 2017

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!

29283812363938/11=2662164760358

Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

יונתן מיכאל רבינס

A True Jew is A Moslem, Too! 1111

Concerning Islam 1111
 

Any Interpretation of Scriptures  That Seeks To Violently Coerce and Enforce Faith is False and Evil 1111

The Purpose of Creation is to Bring About In The Human Mind,
 Complete and Totally Willful
SURRENDER To God's Creativity,
Thus Evoking Gratitude and Thanksgiving,
without any FURTHER need for sacrifice to accomplish the above. 
 

One By One, In The Creator's Good Time. All Mankind And All Women Will Come To Faith in The God of Art 1111 

    I believe absolutely and with no doubt whatsoever in One Great Merciful God Almighty known in Arabic as Allah. I believe absolutely and with no doubts whatsoever that The Great Prophet Mohamed was indeed a Prophet in the same Spirit and way and Direction as were The Great Hebrew Prophets upon whom he based his Faith and Founded his teachings. 

Not For No Good Reason Is There A Mosque on The Temple Mount 1111

I have prayed in  a Mosque and been welcomed into A Moslem's home as a convert, where I was served a meal, blessed, and sent on my way. In no way did this change my interpretation of Hebrew Scriptures and my understanding of תורת יהוה (The Teachings of The Creator Lord) as taught by Moses. To the contrary, this was the fulfillment of that understanding.

A true Jew must be a Moslem, too. But A Moslem doesn't have to be a Jew,  only observe the Sabbath as The Seventh Day, like Jews.
 

The Hebrew Prophets Taught The Seventh Day as The Day of Rest.

   I am also a Jew but not because I believe in what is called today Judaism. I am a Jew because I believe in the transcendent nature of Prophetic Hebrew Culture which gave birth to both Judaism and Islam. I am also a Moslem in that I believe in One Almighty Creator God, my own interpretations of the The Prophets before Mohamed and I believe in my interpretations of The Great Prophet Mohamed's Koran, Mohamed being the last great Prophet to the nations until my advent as the Teacher who will properly interpret Islam.

 I am The Mahdi, this according to my own interpretations of The Koran and The Hebrew Bible.
  Islam is The Art of Surrendering to The Creator's (whose Name in Arabic is Allah) Will. I will interpret Islam as The Messiah, Son of David,  from Mount Zion. As David as prophesied in The Koran and before Islam, by All of The Hebrew Prophets.
 

There will be Signs and Wonders Unseen By Mankind Since The Dawn of The First Day in Adam's Mind

   Islam is an eternal religion that will survive Christianity and the present religion called Judaism. For the last 1400 years or so it has been going through difficulties due to rigid literal interpretations of The Koran, bringing about great misunderstandings, strife and bloodshed among Moslems and between Moslems and Jews. There should be no strife between Moslems and Jews. My interpretations of Islam will restore it to it's great peace making purpose.

   The Trouble Islam has had with Christianity has been strictly caused by Christianity and Christian leaders Popes and nations. 

Let He or She who would refute what I teach do so and show how their teaching enhances life more than mine.

The Most Important word in The Hebrew Language is the essence of the Arabic Word for God, Allah.

This word is the Hebrew Word. EL. אל 

In English this word can be translated firstly as "To" or "Towards", meaning in the direction of. As it is The One Creator God who gives direction to all there is, in all of Creation, the word also means God. 

In Creation, everything is in motion and has a direction. It is The Creator that determines the direction of all that moves. It is The Creator's Will that is The Primal Cause for All Motion, in All Space, in All Times. Everything that moves, does so as part of Creation and does so with purpose. 

The purpose of Creation manifests in the human experience which is what transpires in The Evolving Human Mind.

The concept of Motion with Direction and Purpose is the manifestation of life itself as perceived and conceived in The Evolving Human Mind. 

The perception and direction of motion with purpose is the fundamental necessity that makes a mind, (any mind, with any degree of sophistication or complexity), what it is, for the following reasons.

To conceive motion  necessitates first the conception of even more fundamental concepts. 
 

v838 and 838 is The Messiah

The First is SPACE. There can be no motion without space to move in. Space is a view point of at least 2 dimensions.for a duration of time in 3 dimensional space. This is a triangle.
 

11:11 is The Time To Make Your Wish For World Peace

The Second is TIME. There can be no motion without perception with duration of a change in location in space. 

The Third is The Concept of SUBJECT-OBJECT. The viewpoint from which motion is perceived is the Subject. That which moves and the space  in which it moves in, are The Elemental Object.

The Fourth is The Concept of MEMORY. It is impossible to determine motion or direction without a memory of  the past position of that which is determined to be in motion. 

The mind has absolutely nothing in it but symbols that are meaningfully organized with sophisticated syntax, representing what we believe or imagine to be reality.

The Fifth is The Concept of SYMBOL. The memory is only a symbolic representation of what was and is no longer TRUE, this being the perception of motion (change) itself where one compares the location in space of an object and differentiates between where it is presently perceived and the memory of where it was perceived in the past. This is always done in the present, the present itself is created by the differentiation between symbols of the past and the perception of  what is perceived now. 
 

One is as Conscious as One is Responsible for All  Life and All Living Things That Exist in One's Mind as Aspects of  One's Self 

The Sixth is The Concept of  CONSCIOUSNESS. Consciousness is the comparison of what is- with what was and is now symbolized in the memory. 

The Seventh is The Concept of PURPOSE. The Purpose of Creation and all the motion with direction within it, is the experience of an evolving human mind, which is capable of having an Aesthetic Experience wherein the Glory of God's Creativity is appreciated in Gratitude and Thanksgiving.

NO INTERPRETATION OF ANY SACRED HOLY SCRIPTURE IS TRUER OR MORE VALUABLE THAN THIS SIMPLY PUT IMPERATIVE COMMANDMENT:

"I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed;"

Wise Enough For Freedom of Choice?

I never wanted freedom of choice. 

If there is freedom of choice, we always run out of it at some point!

    I never wanted to subject myself to someone else and their thinking or their decision making, either. I did want the free space to figure things out on my own. And as far back as I can remember myself, that is what I was trying to do. Very soon on, it was apparent to me that I lacked whatever it takes to make the right choices for myself. It appeared to me that the greatest part of whatever I am, is an unknown variable. I would get the strangest of urges, that would rise up again and again, inevitably and invincibly inside of me, causing me to do things that got me into unceasing trouble. I had no conscious reason for doing these things. For example, I would feel a relentless and unstoppable curiosity to rummage through my parent's drawers, whenever they weren't home. I had no idea what I was looking for. I would pull things out to get at the bottom and the back of the drawers I rummaged through, leaving mountable evidence that I had done it again, despite all warnings, reprimands and punishments. I can imagine how uncomfortable it made my mother feel when she found me playing with a vibrator I found in her closet, while my father was away. God Bless Her Departed Soul.

As a youth, how often did you decide to stop masturbating?

    My parents were bewildered and frustrated, nothing they said or did could make me stop. It wasn't as if I wasn't an intelligent child, or as if  I wasn't smart enough to understand that if I did it again, I would be locked into my room without dinner. I did it again and again, anyway. Ever bewildered at myself, I chose again and again, not to realize these wild rampant urges anymore, unsuccessfully.
      What good is freedom of choice if you can't actualize the choices you make? Or if you find yourself doing things with dire consequences that you have no recollection of having actually decided doing, after contemplation of consequences? The story of my whole life, until today, is paved with such experiences. 

The Freedom Not to Believe in Free Choice Is True Humility and Faith

    I hated to upset my mother, who was by no means domineering or over controlling. To the contrary, she was quite aloof and distant and left me alone with my many toys and the things she gave me to take apart, like old clocks and whatever. But as soon as I was alone for a short while in the house, I was at it again, doing one thing or another that got me into trouble.
 

 The Best Choices Can Go Wrong Inadvertently

    There was the time I poured all the pretty colored chemicals into our swimming pool, forcing my parents to drain it and refill it with fresh water. Very expensive in Phoenix, Arizona. I had been warned to stay away from the cabinet with the water purification apparatus, to no avail. And there was the time that I painted an unoccupied house with red and green paint I had found in a garage outside it. I was the leader of a small group of children who followed me around and did whatever I told them to. I thought I was improving how the white walls of the house looked. The police came and investigated but my mother lied and said I had the measles and had never left the house that day. She didn't even ask me if I had done it. She knew it was me and that it would do no good making an issue out of it. I never learned to stop doing these things. Otherwise, I was a very good natured child who excelled at school and I knew how to read from age three. They put me in a special class for the gifted. As far as I am concerned that was a mistake as I hadn't a clue what was going on there, from the first day. From being the class genius I became the class clown idiot.
 

Who hasn't had an uncontrollable urge?

   There was also my unconquerable fascination with fire. I started quite a few and once set fire to a field of thorns which spread and burned down a wooden shack. Again the police investigated and my mother lied.
   No, I was under no illusion that I was under my own control and knew enough of what was going on inside of me to make the decisions and choices I was told would make me happiest. Despite being fully informed of consequences, I continued to get into trouble and suffer the results I had been duly informed I would incur.
    Growing up, this never changed. To my chagrin, my awareness that I am too ignorant of myself to make wise choices increased to include the awareness that the environment and the future, and hence the consequences of my actions, is very unpredictable.
    Now the funny and ironic thing about all this, is instead of learning to listen to rules and make informed decisions based on available information about consequences, my ever inexplicable and uninhibited urges to break behavior patterns dictated by whatever authorities there be, and do strange illicit things, was constantly reinforced with sensations of blissful pleasure. Also, when I grew older, in retrospect, this quality of mine, the pursuit of the bliss emanating from illicit behavior was finally the eventual cause of tremendous good luck. Or should I say- Blessings?

Drafted into The Army, One Forfeits One's Freedom of Choice For The Government. What About God?

An extreme example of this was when I couldn't control an urge to shoot the automatic M16 rifle I had been given for basic training, at a sprinkler in an orange orchard. I was an infantry soldier in the Israeli Army. It was during a short illicit visit to my old boarding school, on a day I had been granted leave to pick up a pair of glasses I had broken on purpose for that explicit purpose. I already had the glasses, but my officer didn't know this and granted me leave to pick them up. I invited a friend who hadn't been drafted yet to accompany me into the depths of the shadowy grove. I wanted to show off and feel the power of the weapon at my disposal. I was so proud of being a soldier in the Jew's army.
A fighting Israeli! HOLOCAUST? Never again! I was considering a military career in service of my people.

The Freedom of Choice to Kill Strangers Without Moral Consequences, by Government Command?

     I put the magazine inside the rifle, aimed at a sprinkler, pulled the trigger, missed, and was taken in complete surprise by the sheer noise caused by the shot. I suddenly felt a wave of unbearable guilt and quickly, thoughtlessly, removed the magazine from the chamber only after cocking it, leaving a bullet inside. The gun was still loaded, but I didn't know this. This was probably the most important thing that ever happened in my youth, determining the development and course of the rest of my life, to this very day. This urge to illicitly shoot my automatic assault rifle had grave, almost deadly consequences for someone else, but even he was eventually thankful that it happened.
    

Blood On Your Hands? Choice or Accident?

    Feeling waves of remorse, I quickly made my way back to base. My platoon was doing infantry training in a field of thorns, which included crawling in the dust while being shot around by the officer with real fire. I was warned not to go, that it was a hot early Autumn afternoon and the training was humiliating as basic training very often was in those days. This was just a year after the Yom Kippur war. Training was very real and very tough. I went anyways, determined to compensate for the feeling I had that I was guilty of betraying the trust given me, by illicitly taking leave and then illegally shooting  my rifle in the orchard.

    When I found my unit, things were exactly as had been described. My officer stood on a hill above, while each soldier in turn, crawled in the thorns as the officer shot bullets around their body, fearfully close. When the soldier froze in fear, the officer berated him with insults. "Come on, you cowardly pussy, crawl! Your friends are being attacked and only you can save them, crawl you little frightened pussy, crawl!"
 

We choose to pay taxes  so governments can kill strangers, with no culpability? Choose not to pay taxes?

   I felt a wave of protest at what I saw in front of me. I couldn't accept the necessity for the insults and humiliation. Speaking quietly, I asked the some twenty soldiers near by, to turn around and refuse to be an audience to such abuse. They all complied, without exception. A moment after we all turned around, I relived the feeling of shooting my rifle in the orchard. I hadn't felt the bliss I usually did when doing something I shouldn't do. I was as if under a spell. It was very dream like. I released the safety on my rifle and pulled the trigger.
 
    My gun was hanging loosely from it's strap at my waist. The unexpected explosion in the barrel took me completely by surprise and the recoil drew my attention to what was happening about ten yards to my left. A soldier in my unit, grabbed his left thigh, twisted around and fell soundless to the ground. Everyone was looking at the officer, thinking he had done it. No one had seen it was me. I was myself in complete shock and denial.
 

We love freedom of choice when we can take credit for our choices, but claim our mistakes are unintentional.

    I did understand what was happening to the soldier I had shot, though. I ran to his side and crouched on my knees, removing my battle dressing from my uniform pocket with trembling hands. I was trying to rip it open but my hands were shaking too much and I was fumbling. My officer was kneeling at my side in a few short seconds and he grabbed the bandage from my hands and put it gently down and then he ripped open the hole that the bullet had made in the wounded soldiers pants. A large chunk of flesh was missing and I could see little red dots of exposed veins in the white flesh. The boy was moaning, " Mommy, mommy, help me mommy...." His face was turning a sickly green.

    For the first few seconds there wasn't much blood. But I had hit an artery and sure enough, soon enough, there was blood everywhere arcing out of the hole in the young soldier's thigh. My officer applied pressure to  the wound. He put a tight tourniquet on around the boy's crotch. He was a seasoned paratrooper who had seen action in battle after battle, just a short year earlier. He saved the boy's life. Medics came and carried the boy away on a stretcher.
 

One man's freedom of choice kills millions against their will and choice! Make sense?

    The officer gathered us all together and asked if anyone had seen what had happened. Everyone was silent. I was in such shock and denial that I surreptitiously lifted the barrel of my rifle to smell if it had actually been me who had fired the shot. There was definitely the reek of fresh gunpowder, but still I said nothing. We were released to walk the few kilometers back to our camp and when I got there I counted the bullets in my magazine and two were missing. One too many. The realization of what I had done, what I had caused, was no longer deniable. I walked over to my officer and told him the whole story, after I understood that I would never be able to live with myself unless I fully confessed. He was very calm about it and immediately praised my complete and honest disclosure. A short while later I was arrested and taken under custody to jail for a few days, where I was interrogated by the military police. There had been no animosity between me and the victim of my absent minded negligent accident. I was released after a few days, awaiting trial. I felt a total abhorrence for my gun, as if it were to blame.
 

Exercise freedom of choice! Don't pay taxes to have strangers killed.

      After this I did everything I could to be a good, an exemplary soldier, but my military ambitions scattered like so much dust in the wind. I carried the stretcher during forced marches longer than anyone expected of me, more than my turn and I always made sure that I was positioned in front of everyone else during exercises with live fire.
      However I sank into a deep depression. I spent only a month in prison for my crime as I received recommendations and requests for leniency from all my officers and unit members. I was respected and befriended by strangers.
    The soldier I had wounded was released with a permanent pension from the army and became a medical doctor, at the army's expense. I heard that he was finally quite satisfied with the whole turn of events.

Like it or not, Science Knows this to be true.

     My depression was finally alleviated when I fell in love with the first young woman who seemed to believe that there was something special about me, Nurit. We were unhappily married for less than two years and after having a daughter together, we parted ways.

A short while after our divorce, Nurit had a psychotic break, declaring to one and all that I am The Jew's Messiah. To help her, I signed a five year contract to learn Scientology, which helped me a great deal, but not her.
 

     From then on, one thing followed another in a series of events that has left me completely convinced that my life has been planned down to the smallest detail, with nothing at all ever left to chance and certainly with no regard to any idea I ever had about making the right choices, from a politically correct point of view.
_________________
September 29th, 2017

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!

29283812363938/11=2662164760358

Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

יונתן מיכאל רבינס