838My Secret is Humility Before My Lord
In His Presence I seek annihilation
self similar subtraction, getting ever smaller,
to leave Him more Space To Be,
rather than me. I just want to see what He Does with me,
what's left of me as I slip between the cracks, leaving behind some more old skin.
To Be Is To Sin, How dare I begin to make less of Him, By Being More Of Me?
To disappear is to go free, to flee from the inevitable discovery of the surreptitious deed.
Done in the dark, where I cannot see Him looking at me as I do His Will.
To Live Is To Kill.
What else can I do?
I have persistent duration in my inner eye
and an extensive memory full of fluctuating context
so the content can be seen all the time, from everywhere that surrounds it.
I am The Messiah and I am so Surprised,
The Less I Strive to Be, The More I Become,
The more I give up, the more I have,
made manifold and multiplied forever.
His Voice in My Mind, "The More You Give Me of Yourself,
The More of Yourself Is Your Own Yarn, To Fabricate
Your Own Fashion, To Wear Your Own Clothes.
To Wrap yourself in a Jacket of Your Own Design,
'Say It's Me, The Messiah Artist, " I Will Be What I will Be!"
I will make it your voice in their minds, no longer mine."
'I am grateful My Lord, But I decline."
I would die before beseeching an Idol
and die before becoming one, in a human mind.
If it is to be my death that immortalizes me in man's mind,
then I would live forever and abstain from any fame,
I want none of their blame, I would cause nothing at all of my own volition,
I just want to watch your thing being done, over and over and over again,
every time is a similar dynamic contract,
an evolving mechanical logarithmic manifestation
of inversely valued universal transactions,
cross referenced with colorful threads meant for needle's eyes,
no one cares if you speak lies, as long as no one gets hurt,
and its in jest and in good spirits, and it makes the time go by with an amused smile,
a seduced line of thought, an entertaining narrative that captures the heart for a while, perhaps just to pass the time between those moments when the truth seems unnecessary,
because survival is ensured and insured by reason of spiritual vigilance,
or so would you dream of yourself, your fantasy of self deceit, self reciprocating for maintaining similarity and so growing, but always the same, even in reverse, then less then more,
a fractal nightmare of a fractured delusion pulling your heart relentless into the dark, you are going deep, within you will sink to the depths, together with me, can't you see, we are alive in reverse, twisting around and around like a screw nailing time to the mind, "Stand "Still!", "I'm ill, I've gone insane from the pain, my hope has been slain, just let me die in peace, let me lay on my lie,
that it was really eye that was alive.
Now dive once again, yes, the depth is of the deep,
let go, let slumber, let sleep, my heart beats are between your ears, let go of your fears, surrender- be still and Know God is inside you, no matter what you think of Him, He is there all the time inside, watching you to see if you are looking for him to proclaim" He isn't there? He isn't here. He isn't in-between where he has been and where he is going by avoiding where he should be were he not disappearing before he arrived but after he left, through the doors that need the keys that he got...
|939 Is The Number of My Full Name And Is The Same for Sign And Wonder|