Friday, February 24, 2017

The Divine Design of The Internet

This happens to me more and more frequently. I wake up at all hours of the night with a stream of thoughts going through my mind. It always has to do with enhancing my knowledge of God. It reminded me of how. with today's communications technology, one can be informed of impending information with vibrations, sounds and lights on ones computer, tablet or cell phone. So it is with me. Something goes on inside me so emphatically that it can awaken me from sleep. It always comes with a sense of urgency pulsating in my consciousness in such a way that grabs my attention and awakens in me a desire to record whatever it is on the internet, because it is valuable for others, too. Connecting to God in one's conscious mind is the most valuable thing anyone can do.
The internet is a perfect metaphor for attaining a knowledge of God.
As in connecting to the internet, there are prerequisites for a connection with the Divine.
One needs three things.
1. Hardware.
2. Software.
3. Information formatted as Electromagnetic energy.
1.The hardware is one's brain. Every human brain is capable of some degree of conscious connection with God. No one who has a normal, run of the mill, undamaged human brain is excluded. Even if one's brain is abnormal by reason of genetic or environmental chemical pathology or imbalance, tumors, or mutations that change its functioning structure such as in Downs Syndrome, by definition, the human brain itself is designed to facilitate this connection and make it available to everyone. Just as modern technology makes the attainment of a mechanical means of internet connection available to human beings all over the world, in ever growing numbers, so evolution has produced a human brain capable of connection with the Divine in its basic operating structure. Every human brain has as parts of its structure a modem
2. As in connecting to the internet, it is not enough to have the appropriate hardware. It isn't enough to have a brain with the potential for a connection to The Divine to have one. Without a browser on one's materiel communication device one cannot access the information on the word wide net. And so it is with the brain. Without certain ideas one cannot achieve a working connection with God. In the past, connection with the internet was accomplished using physical means, electric wire or optic fiber, making it less available to those with no such materiel infrastructure. As regards human spirituality and its evolving, it was once believed that God was only available at certain locations and or under specific spiritual conditions such as those achieved by sacrificial ceremony. These ideas limited man's ability to connect to God, just as today, a lack of internet infrastructure inhibits the availability of connection for people who otherwise might have everything necessary to do so.
But just as technology has greatly increased the availability of ISP services, so new ideas about spirituality provide the mental software necessary to recognize the presence of Divine Design everywhere one is and anytime one chooses to.
One might liken this to the perception of information that there is going to be a party on the internet to celebrate God.
First one must have the means to receive such information as through ones eyes or ears, so one needs a brain, which is the hardware but not necessarily a computer or cell phone. One can hear about the internet without being connected to it. One must believe the internet exists before achieving any kind of understanding about how to use it. So upon hearing there is a party to celebrate God on the internet, one must know what the internet is and believe a connection to it is available in order to make this incoming data valuable. One doesn't necessarily need to believe in God in order to accept that people might want to celebrate His Existence by connecting their minds together on an internet media and exchange with each other celebratory exclamations in what they choose to call a party. Now if one lacks the idea that one wants to find out if this celebrated God exists or not, if one tells one's self that one doesn't care, that its not valuable or even detrimental to contemplate such an option, it can be said that one lacks the software, the browser for connection. Just as one can acquire a browser by purchasing a computer and having one come with it, as what happens when one is born into a family of faith in God that educates and indoctrinates one with the idea that God is available through prayer or otherwise, or just as one can be be given a browser from others, as in being told by friends or acquaintances that there is God and he is available, so today the software, the ideas needed to connect with God are available everywhere one goes, particularly on the internet itself.
In the not so distant past, to acquire new information without moving one's body, one needed to sit still and listen to someone tell a story about some aspect of the world. Knowledge of the world at large and The Divine in particular could only be passed from one to another through oral traditions and cultural legacies. Or one could achieve it by one's self.
This other option, less widely available, was to simply sit still and watch the heavens change. To increase one's knowledge of the environment one had to move around in it when not told about it by others. Only those who were supported by the culture around them could afford the luxury of observing the sky and seeing that natural order that seemed to intimate there is wisdom in the design of things and where there is wisdom there is life and so there might be a Wise Designer or Designers who are alive and somehow approachable. The supplication of the invisible wisdom that seems to manage the affairs of the world is a natural extension of the brains capability of postulating the existence of God and attempting to contact him. This came naturally to all human cultures in all of history and comes naturally even to the most primitive cultures today, that lack even the technology of the written word, but is some how lacking as common knowledge for vast amounts of people.
In other words, today, something is getting in the way of people's acquiring the software necessary for a connection to God. and something inhibits the natural development of such ideas and it is simply the dogma and doctrines that there is no God or that He is unavailable or uncaring and therefor there is no good to come from attempting to connect with Him.
People don't have and can't acquire the browser needed because of malignant programs that corrupt the attainment of a connection with the Divine ISP.
Without workable ideas concerning that nature of God's availability and the benefits of attaining such a connection, it is unlikely to occur, despite the innate tendency of the human mind to seek out and realize such a connection when uninhibited by obstructive ideological programs such as communism or materialism or the inadequacies of scientific methodologies.
3. Today, the technology of the electromagnetic means of  transferring information make an internet connection available every where on earth through satellites. In the same way, a connection with God is possible everywhere and anytime if one has the idea that such a connection is possible. Like electromagnetic waves, God's Presence permeates every space perceived in a human mind, making it possible to set up a connection with Him merely by connecting to the space contained in one's own mind, with the intent to receive some kind of information through perception by means of God's Omnipresence.

Ask and you shall be given. Knock, and the door shall open.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Madness or Spirituality?

I have found a great treasure, indeed! I have found the philosophy diametrically opposite to my own. It is called the Philosophy of The Last Messiah! And indeed it describes the fate of mankind as a diametrically opposed vision to my own.
I am The Antic Christ! But The Story of Christ is a worthwhile work of antiquated art which has served its purpose in the evolution of human spirituality and will soon be discarded as irrelevant.
On the other hand, philosophical pessimism that doesn't acknowledge the experience of Divinely Designed Art in The Human Mind as the purpose of creation, will overwhelm those unequipped with the spiritual attributes evolution will provide the fittest.
"Why then has the human race not already gone extinct in great epidemics of madness? Why is it that only a relatively small number of individuals perish under the intolerable pressure of life — perish from an intellect that gives them more than they can bear? Our spiritual and cultural history, as well as the observation of ourselves and others, provide a basis for the following answer: most humans learn to save themselves by artificially reducing the content of their consciousness."

The Advent of The Anti Christ 939 1111

For those who worship in the name of Christ.


The word Christ symbolizes an abomination.

 A dead man hanging from a cross is an abomination.   The idea of a man rising from the dead with open wounds that have dripped blood and water,  teaching The Living Word of God to the living of God's People, The Children of Israel, is a spiritual travesty now. For  those of whom it is written "And they believed in God and in Moses His Servant"! -To them I say, Believing in God is Truth, believing in Moses is wrong. Believing in the teachings of Moses is Truth, when done with discretion and understanding of context. "And they believed in God and in Moses His Servant"! This is a fact, not a commandment. One should believe in God alone! The Jews need to refine their faith, too. And they will, for those that don't do so willingly will be what is burnt away in the flames of the furnaces of refinement.

That Christ would teach Torah with himself as both God and God's Only Son is a 

 Blasphemous Abomination.

We are all equally creatures created by God. All unique, each one of us in their own way. Creatures are not to be worshiped, they are to be respected and cultivated to the full extant of their potential.

   The Ideal of Christ risen from the dead is an Idolatrous Sacrilege according to The Law of Moses. The Law received on Mount Sinai makes it abundantly clear why the personality cult of Jesus Christ is a sacrilege and Idolatry.

Deutronomy 21-23 כִּי קִלְלַת אֱלֹהִים תָּלוּי= "For a Curse of The Lord is hanging!" A murdered human corpse  is a blasphemy of God,  to be buried or burned to ashes and mourned.

Certainly, Jesus of Nazareth 747ישוע הנוצרי was a great Hebrew Prophet. Like all the Hebrew Prophets before him in The Hebrew Bible, he taught nothing but the Torah of God.  תורת יהוה
The Torah of God and His Prophet Moses makes it abundantly clear that no creature of the heavens, the earth above or beneath, or the seas, nothing with form and located specifically in a cross reference of time and in space, is to be worshiped. Doing so is the definition of Idolatry.

Any creation at all, any manifestation or creature or object of any kind, that has a location in time and in space, for any temporal duration or of any size, The Universe itself and all it contains, are Creations of The Creator, who exists independently of His creations. Nothing is to be worshiped but The One Creator of All that was, is, or ever will be. 
  "Magnified, sanctified, be thy holy name
Vilified, crucified, in the human frame" L. Cohen
All humans, right or wrong in their mind and hearts, are subject to being vilified and crucified like Jesus, if this is God's Will. Look around you on the earth today and in history, is this not true?

Has this not been true of the Jews and The Children of Israel, for the last 3,500 years? The Jews are an example, a sign and a wonder939  for all of humanity, of what it means to Be Human, A Son or Daughter of Adam and Eve in the Spirit.

 "You shall not make for yourself a graven image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: you shall not bow down to them or serve them" (Ex. 20:4–5);

   Images engraved in the mind as representing or symbolizing creatures to be worshiped, are idols.The worship of creatures or creation itself, the deifying of anything created by The Creator in any make, shape or form- is idolatry. A blind man can be as much an idolator as one who sees idols with his eyes. Idolatry is committed whenever the heart worships symbols in the mind, of any kind. Everything in the mind is a symbol meant to represent a greater truth, a more comprehensive reality. Particularly the letters that form the Hebrew Name of God.

The Name that is not intended to be pronounced, for it sounds just as loudly in silent contemplation and meditation as it is when shouted from rooftops. These letters are not, God Forbid, meant to be revered and they have no power whatsoever in themselves. Their sole purpose is to awaken a sense of reverence for the Creator of All. The Sole Creator of anything and everything that anyone and every creature ever experiences of creation.

   The High Priest of Israel spoke the Holy Name Once a Year in prayer on the Day of Atonement, and it did Israel no good. The Temple itself did Israel no good, starting from the time of King Solomon who built it. He also built later idolatrous temples to appease his many wives, which he had along with much gold and much money, against the Torah of יהוה as written by Moses.

ולא ירבה לו נשים ולא יסור לבבו וכסף וזהב לא ירבה לו מאד

"And he will not multiply his wives and his heart will not stray and gold and money he won't have much of."

The Hebrew Prophets spoke of the futility of animal sacrifices and The Hebrew Prophet Nathan tells King David that The God of Israel happily dwells in a mobile tent and that he never asked any Judge or Shepherd of Israel to build him a permanent dwelling.

There is yet much idolatry among the Jews and it will come to a quick and fiery end together with Christianity.

What is worship?

Worship is any kind of glorification or reverence towards that which we believe has the power to create and cause  the conditions of our life. All worship is self seeking, for the sincere act of worship and prayer comes with feelings of hope and alleviates emotional hardship.

Christians who worship Christ as God are idolators. Believers in The Teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, who see him as a Hebrew Prophet who is their Messiah, must refine their faith by Praying to The Father directly now, as Jesus himself said was the correct way to pray, in The Spirit of Truth.  They must give up the symbol of Jesus in their hearts and minds as having any causal power whatsoever, any influence at all, over their destinies.

The time of any and all forms of Christianity has come to an end.

Jesus said, "Believe me, woman. A time is coming when you will not worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know. We worship what we do know. Salvation comes from the Jews.
"But a new time is coming. In fact, it is already here. True worshipers will worship the Father alone in spirit and in truth. They are the kind of worshipers the Father is looking for. God is spirit.(Spirit is that which moves anything and everything, and everything is in motion! jmr) His worshipers must worship Him in spirit and in truth."

The Messiah has spoken and I do so in my own name. 

The teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, are his Divinely Inspired  interpretations of The Laws of Moses and The Hebrew Prophets before him. Jesus of Nazareth likens Faith in The Creator of All, who gave us The Torah, to a great Tree of Life, which can miraculously grow from a tiny mustard242 seed, that falls onto the fertile ground of a God loving and humble heart.

For to he or she who has a God loving and humble mind, who  learns The Torah of יהוה   and The Laws of Moses as taught by The Messiah, Son of David, will be given The Fruit of The Tree of Life.

 What a miracle this is! Jesus of Nazareth likens a little true faith to a mustard seed and mustard is not a tree, it is a shrub! But with faith in The God of Israel, that little seed will be transformed into an enormous perennial oak, that gives food from one generation to the next. A home for creatures of wing (angels) that gives sustenance forever more.

This tree must have deep roots, the kind that reach out and spread in dry land, so that when a tempest comes, as such that is coming, it holds its ground and stands fast. 

  The Lord of Faith and Art, The God of Israel, sometimes comes to the mind of The Son of Man from within a Tempest or Fiery Whirlwind, so He came to Job and Elijah and was so seen by Elisha.

 11-And it was that they were going, walking and talking, and behold a fiery chariot and fiery horses, and they separated them both. And Elijah ascended to heaven in a whirlwind.
 יא            וַיְהִי הֵמָּה הֹלְכִים הָלוֹךְ וְדַבֵּר וְהִנֵּה רֶכֶב אֵשׁ וְסוּסֵי אֵשׁ וַיַּפְרִדוּ בֵּין שְׁנֵיהֶם וַיַּעַל אֵלִיָּהוּ בַּסְעָרָה הַשָּׁמָיִם

"Now the Lord answered Job from a tempest and said, ווַיַּעַן יְהֹוָה אֶת אִיּוֹב מִן | (כתיב מִנ) סְעָרָה וַיֹּאמַר:"

Great storm is coming, to clear way for the coming of The King. Those that cling to the idols in their mind will be swept away, like so much straw spinning down into oblivion in a maelstrom of the Quantum Field.

It is time to


Arkain101 wrote this:
"repent is a word construct.

Re and Pent.

Pent stands for the peak or greatest potential.

Such as the penthouse of a specific building.

Re means to return, turn around, reverse.

So repent means re raise yourself out of sin. Be kind. Forgive people, apologize, make the choice to turn your life around and empty yourself from hates and angers. As I understand it...

Justice is as real as life is real."

What he says here is precisely what I mean. What does REPENT mean?

Repentance is all about return. 

Moses, A Man of The Lord 747, said in Psalms 90-3

תשב אנוש עד דכא ותאמר שובו בני אדם 
"You will make man sit until he is depressed and then you say," RE TURN, Sons of Adam!" 

Who needs to REPENT  right now and as their first priority? 

Those who think themselves intelligent or wise but don't concede their BRAINS AND MINDS AND REALITY are more intelligently designed than anything they will ever conceptualize or invent. 

Believers that God wants anything more than the speaking of truth to one's self in one's own mind. 

I come in my own name, Jonathan Michael Robbins 939 , Son of David,  The Messiah 424 of Israel 

The New Covenant , I speak in my own name!

My brother Daniel, whom I have deep feelings for
and respect much for his true love of Torah,
and Itay Orbach, whom I love very much
and is the best friend any one could ever have,
 both brought up with me the issue of my causing my family
 shame by sharing my own narrative publicly with the world.
When I say my own narrative, that includes my thoughts and feelings
concerning the behavior of others
and in this case particularly, the members of my own family,
 by blood or by marriage.
Daniel's and Itay's comments on this issue
have caused me to research my own heart
and see for myself what motivates me
to share what I do when I write of my self,
about the pain and suffering I have endured
because of others slander.
This is what was on my mind when I fell asleep a few hours ago
and this post is what I woke up with, God's Words to me,
 like a fire in my soul, that burns away the shackles
that tie down my heart and restrain it from declaring,

I am The Messiah of Israel, The Son of David!
come back from a dark night of solitude,
cast out and away from my people, my family,
because of their sins!
Let me tell you about ages past.
There were times when The Children of Israel
were all of one heart!
No one had secrets
for all celebrated the story of their lives
for the gift from God it is.
No one judged another
for all knew that all is from The God of Jacob,
who had Reuven sleep with his father's wife!
וַיֵּלֶךְ רְאוּבֵן וַיִּשְׁכַּב אֶת בִּלְהָה פִּילֶגֶשׁ אָבִיו וַיִּשְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל
"And Reuvan went and laid with Bilhah, the woman known to his father, and Israel heard."
Heard and did nothing!
As said The Hebrew Prophet Isaiah,

אם כחמר היצר יחשב?
כי יאמר מעשה לעשהו לא עשני ויצר אמר ליוצרו לא הבין!

"You have turned everything upsides down! Is the potter to be considered like the clay? Could a deed tell He who has done it, You haven't done me, or an urge say to its Maker, you don't understand!"

So I blame no one for what has been done to me,
though I have been blamed relentlessly,
for what I haven't done!
For what I am not!
And now I speak to you all in my own name
and not in the name of God,
as said The Hebrew Prophet Jeremiah,

" הַמַּשָּׂא יִהְיֶה לְאִישׁ דְּבָרוֹ"=929="ברית חדשה"

"For The Narrative (Of God) will be a man's own speech."=929="New Covenant"

מְהֻלָּל, אֶקְרָא יְהוָה; וּמִן-אֹיְבַי, אִוָּשֵׁעַ. (תהילים, יח,ד)=929

חָנֵּנוּ יְהוָה חָנֵּנוּ כִּי-רַב, שָׂבַעְנוּ בוּז. (תהילים, קכג,ג)929

Psalms 18-4 "Glorified, I will call God, and from my enemies be saved!"=929
Psalms 123-3 "Redeem us God, Redeem us, far too much have we been scorned!"=929

This be true if a woman or man speak the truth
of their own story, their God Given Narrative,
without conceit or deceit,
and so I speak to you!
I bring with me the "New Covenant"= 929=ברית חדשה
for The Correction of The Heart of Israel,
The Holy Grammar for The Word of The Heart!

"ומלתם את ערלת לבבכם"

"And you will cut away ("with The Word of Truth"), the fatty cover of your own hearts!"
So said The Greatest Prophet of Them All,
because he was the least of all in his own eyes,
having cut away the fat of his own heart
with piety and faith, in The God of Art!
The Writer of The Book
from which Moses asked to be erased.
were God to destroy Israel
and make of him a new nation.
What could be more humble than that?

"והאיש משה ענו מאד"=838="And the man Moses was very humble."

And whether you believe me or not, so am I.
A humble man,
 no longer even proud of my God Given Humility.

So I speak not in conceit or deceit
when I say what I do of myself
and my own story,
for my story and the story of "my family", 838 =משפחתי= יונתן רבינס
The Children of Israel,
was told by "Moses, The Man of God= משה איש האלהים=747
to be known by all The Family of Man,
as The Story of The Son of Man,
who is received because he speaks in his own name.
"43  I have come in My Father’s name, and you have not received Me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will receive him. "
As said The Hebrew Prophet,
Yeshua of Nazareth,=ישוע הנוצרי=747
I speak in my own God Given Name,
Jonathan Michael Robbins=939= יונתן מיכאל רבינס
Google It!

Jonathan Michael Robbins My attempts to edit this post by deleting the superfluous repetition of text do not work. So be it. "Because twice is good" פעמיים כי טוב
Jonathan Michael Robbins
Jonathan Michael Robbins Facebook has, by The Will of God, made the above post a mess.
Jonathan Michael Robbins
Jonathan Michael Robbins Only those who exert an effort will benefit from what God would have me share. יגעת מצאת, לא יגעת לא מצאת and . כְּבֹד אֱלֹהִים, הַסְתֵּר דָּבָר; וּכְבֹד מְלָכִים, חֲקֹר דָּבָר.
Jonathan Michael Robbins
Jonathan Michael Robbins
הָיָה לָהֶם דְּבַר יְהוָה צַו לָצָו צַו לָצָו קַו לָקָו קַו לָקָו זְעֵיר שָׁם זְעֵיר שָׁם לְמַעַן יֵלְכוּ וְכָשְׁלוּ אָחוֹר וְנִשְׁבָּרוּ וְנוֹקְשׁוּ וְנִלְכָּדוּ

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Chapter 6

"Letting Go and Letting God"

After the events of September 11th, I felt ever more strongly, the call of the wild. It was as if I felt the future itself calling me forward to walk away from everything I felt obliged towards, and manifest my trust and belief in God by letting go of my politically correct concerns. I had two children to look after. They needed me and I had much guilt in my heart for I knew myself to have been emotionally preoccupied and unable to care for them as a father should. My finances were deteriorating rapidly.
When I had managed that company with Yuval Dor we called Art Named Communication, I had made a very good salary as the manager of the company and the bank had given me a credit line of 15,000 shekels as well as 15,000 shekels on my credit card, all without any kind of security, The female bank clerk in charge of credit for company accounts and I had dated. I had negotiated for Yuval better conditions for his credit line and while doing so, I had flirted with the clerk by reading her palm. We saw each other a few times and she was very generous when it came to my own credit.
Now the bank account was near the bottom of the credit line and the credit card made it possible for me to take a loan for cash to pay the rent and buy groceries for a couple of months. I knew I would never be able to pay the loan back. A few months went by and during this time, I was introduced by a friend of a friend who had come to my lectures about Divine Design and the number 11, to Sima, who lived at Dizengoff 139 in Tel Aviv with her two grown daughters. Sima displayed great interest in my ideas about communication and the events of 9/11.
She organized a couple of lectures for me. I used to visit her frequently and she fed me with Yemenite Gachnun she used to sell at the beach on Saturdays, for extra income. She liked to smoke grass as much as I did and she shared with me her marijuana very generously. She had a lover much younger than her and was very ecstatic about her relationship, and for this I was relieved as I wasn't interested in any kind of romantic relationship myself. We actually had a lot of fun and she never complained that I would drop by without asking, any time I felt like it.
Eventually I had no money for rent.
The guy who introduced me to Sima was also excited about my ideas and he agreed to give me a 1000 shekels as an investment, actually 2000 shekels but he had had second thoughts. My daughter Ruti agreed to give me another 1000. I paid the rent for the last time and bought groceries with the money I still made from giving English lessons.
When Sima offered to finance my writing any book I wanted to, and I decided I would write about 9/11, Sima's boyfriend left for Europe where he got involved in something he was arrested for, making it possible for Sima to invite me to come and write the book at her house on her computer.
It took me a few days as I had done all the research already, over the course of the months following September 11th. Sima had found someone to do the editing and graphics and paid them. She had her friend get the book published in Steimatsky.
I told my daughter Ruti that I was leaving everything behind, leaving her to care for my children, her brother and sister, and left to live with Sima. Shamefuly I admit that my feeling of relief and release was greater than my guilt. My heart told me I was doing the right thing, no matter how it looked to the world. This was the fulfillment of the Angel saying "amen" regarding the taking care of my children as I followed my destiny.
There was a newspaper article about the book with a picture of me called " Jonathan Michael's Conspiracy of 9/11". I wrote the book under the name Jonathan Michael ( יונתן מיכאל) which is 617 in Gematria. Like " man of the fire (איש האש)" the fire being that consuming fire of the jealous God or The man ,"who God knows" ( אשר ידעו יהוה ) which refers to Moses as having spoken to God from "within to within".

 (פנים אל פנים) . This is usually translated stupidly as "face to face" but God has no face and speaks to man from "within" to "within", the word "within" and "face" are spelled exactly the same  in Hebrew.
 Now let me make it perfectly clear that the Gematria shouldn't prove anything at all for any one, including me. It is simply a condensed kind of Divine Poetry, a work of art and completely open to interpretation, but only if one is so inclined, like me.
My son Idan came to visit me at Sima's a few times. Keren I didn't see for many months. She was to go to a boarding school and then lived with my ex wife, Nurit, Ruti's mother. Idan joined the army and they arranged board for him. I prayed for them all the time but trusted God he would keep His promise to take care of them, Bless them, and He did and He has. I mostly concerned myself with my own affairs.
The book was published and I went out halfheartedly to sell it in the streets for 30 shekels, while it was being sold in Steimatsky's for 60.
I slept on Sima's couch as one of her daughters returned home and the extra room I had been sleeping in went back to her. I sold just a few books a day and also passed out materiel on The CIA involvement in 9/11 I had printed out, but it was very obvious Sima wasn't going to get rich quick and this was no best seller.
One night I was abruptly awakenned when Sima got onto the couch with me and vehemently demanded my affections. I was taken by surprise and pushed her away. The next day she complained that I was lazy and not doing enough to sell the book and make her money back.
I raised my voice back at her and she immediately kicked me out. Just like that, with all the books and my belongings.
"Go away!" she said.
There were about 600 hundred copies of the book, or so, in boxes. I stacked them all up in an unused concrete garbage enclosure behind Sima's building, with my own things in a couple of canvas bags and a suitcase, and I was homeless for a week.
During this week I got a permit to sell the book on Dizengoff Street as an artist promoting his own works. I was the only one selling a book while every one else sold artwork and jewellery.
I felt inexplicably happy and certain I was on the right path.
I told myself a narrative where I was a hero, fearlessly baring my breast to the elements as I did everything I could to reveal the truth to the world about the evil conspiracy that would eventually be blamed on the Jews and used as an excuse to commit another holocaust. I actually believed this. At the time, President Bush was making plans to topple Saddam Husein who was rumored to have chemical weapons he would use on Israel, or something like that. Bush was the grandson of a Nazi sympathizer and couldn't be trusted. It was all in my book.
On the first night, just as I was about to "close shop" and pack the books up, collect my things and find someplace to sleep...perhaps the beach....a young girl came down the street skipping rope. She was, as I later found out, seventeen. It was so strange the way she skipped rope while approaching me on the emptied city street, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She stopped by me and asked me what my book was about. I told her. She said I must be a hero, to do what I am doing, that she admired me. She was very pretty and very young, too young, but I was smitten, anyway.
We spent the night walking and talking. She was on her way to Jerusalem but had ran out of money for the bus and she told me she just knew everything would be alright. I gave her the bus fair but she said she would spend he night with me, keep me company and that she did. We wandered the streets holding hands and chatting together as if we had to say everything we could possibly say, because we both knew we would never see each other again. Finally we ended up on the beach and I found some wood and made a fire. Finding the wood was a surprise, it was just there- left behind as surplus by other fire makers who had gone. I bought some wine and some cookies with the money I had earned selling books at an all night kiosk. She fell asleep with her head on my knees and I praised God for being so gentle with me and making my first homeless night so much fun.
With the crack of dawn she took a bus to the central bus station and that was the last I ever saw of her. I went back to where I had stored my things and tried to get some sleep myself. I curled up under a blanket on top of the book boxes.
Sima woke me with a scream of fright. 

She had opened the door to the cement cubicle to see if my books were still there and was so startled to find me sleeping that she ran away without a word. I sold books the next day too. That night I went to Ramat Gan to sleep in the apartment we had lived at, with the 164 and 47 address, as Idan had told me it was empty and being renovated. I still had the key. I took a soap-less shower and slept uncomfortably on cardboard, leaving early the next morning to sell books on the street.
For a few nights I slept in the apartment or on my things in the cement garbage cubicle. Then I had a windfall. On Saturday I sold books on the boardwalk and within a few hours I sold some twenty books. many of them were to Israeli Arabs who saw my book as validating what they already knew. Bush did 9/11 and it was just a pretext to go to war and steal Arab oil.
I put half my weekly income from selling the book into an envelope and left it for Sima in her mailbox. God told me to do that. Don't ask me how, I couldn't really say, but I knew it wasn't my idea. It was way too wise and proved to be very much the right thing to do.
The next day Sima brought me a big fat joint and told me how much she respected what I had done by giving her money despite being homeless. She invited me to come by and have a smoke, a coffee and a talk. Sima was very good to me, much better than I deserved. I once was so horny and lonely I stole money from her wallet and went to get a massage. The money I stole wasn't enough, but the woman who took me into the room knew me and didn't suspect I would come up short on cash when she was done. She was very pissed at me and I never went back there again.
At any rate, there was a concrete shack behind Sima's ground floor apartment which had no electricity or running water. It was at her disposal as storage space and she agreed to rent it to me so I could put my stuff there until I found some solution. It hadn't started raining yet. This was the winter of 2002-2003 and it was going to be the rainiest winter in 11 years. Of course I had it in my mind that I could sell the book during the day as well as still teach some English lessons, and sleep in the shack during the night. Sima was feeling friendly and agreed to not only let me shower at her place, but she would give me electricity for a light bulb at night. I think this was the beginning of November.
We made a deal and I moved into the concrete shack, feeling happier than I had for a very long time.

We all need One God,
with One Name,
and One Torah.

The God of Art
And His Torah
as taught
by jmr a light. Cool

Art for Art's Sake!

Rotating 11:11 is becoming 11 square 11 square Love heart Angel Love heart

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!


Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

יונתן מיכאל רבינס

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Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Big Bang and Coming Together

I first had this thought "after" making love to a young woman I was very much in love with. I don't like to say "after" because I felt I was making love to her every moment we were together, with various degrees of intensity.
But you know what I mean.
It was one of the first times we had slept together. I had smoked a few joints and she had had a few glasses of wine. We lay together in the candle light and the scent of fresh flowers which cast dancing shadows on the walls. While we had been moving together, I had visions of flying over fields of yellow wheat and then grass covered hills, gently curved hills reminiscent of a woman's breasts and thighs. Above me white clouds, each distinct and shaped like an animal. In my mind's eye, I saw two glowing dots approach a circle and I knew one was me and one was her. When the dots entered the circle they spun around each other and grew closer and closer until they came together and then disappeared in a burst of light and so did we.
I thought the Great Big Bang that scientists say was the beginning of time and the universe was justified. Everything was justified that came before our sharing ourselves with each other, in what was a moment of perfection, everything falling together into a sublime living creation which was the two of us embraced and still trembling, overwhelmed by beauty into silence. There is God and there is this creation, us, and it is all worthwhile.
That is what I thought.
But I also knew it couldn't last. It is impossible to live like that, there is no reason at all to move. The body and the heart and the mind are all aligned in an equilibrium and the spirit is at rest. The reason for creation had been achieved but creation must go on. And so it did.
Ever since that moment, twenty years ago, an idea has been growing in my mind, as if that moment was a seed and the tree that grew from it, a Tree of Life. God is The Cause, The Perfect Cause and He Affects my mind, which is the effect, the perfect effect. My mind is perfect because it is God's creation and is an exact consequence of His Perfect Will. My mind is the place of my life in the universe and in it is everything I will ever know, have ever known. To know is to perceive and to sense, to feel and to think. I am God's creation and the manifestation of His Will, from whatever be my beginning to whatever be my end.
I am the purpose of God's creation as regards myself.
His is the intent, mine is the intent manifested as my being what I have been, and becoming whatever I am yet to be.
God as Cause is incalculably greater than me as the effect.
The effects that come together as my mind and all within it, come and go, coagulate and tessellate and then dissolve and fall apart, nothing remains the same and even my observation of it all fluctuates in width and breadth and scope. I am unable ever to hold it all together or make perfect consistent sense of it all, of all that comes and becomes and joins together and then falls apart or blows apart or shatters. My mind is a constant flux. And while I am sometimes exhausted and often in pain, I would have it no other way. For it all is God's Creation, His Divine Art. The Art of My God The Artist.
I am like an unfinished canvass that can see itself becoming what it is meant to be but will never see the completed masterpiece. My mind is indeed a masterpiece, that I can already see.
It is not something I deserve or have earned.
I am sure there are many others so blessed and have been throughout the ages. God has complete artistic license. It is God's Creative Privilege to make of each of us what He does and He doesn't make us all the same. No Artist makes the same creation over and over again, always the same. Works of art are not equal in value and people's minds differ in the degree they encompass aspects of God's creativity, but all minds are to the same degree, perfectly the effect of God's affecting them.

We all need One God,
with One Name,
and One Torah.

The God of Art
And His Torah
as taught
by jmr a light. Cool

Art for Art's Sake!

Rotating 11:11 is becoming 11 square 11 square Love heart Angel Love heart

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!


Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

יונתן מיכאל רבינס

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