Saturday, April 15, 2017

Dare You Know The Truth? 11

     If you don't ingenuously value uncomfortable truth more than comforting fabrications, you will not finish this post or want to read more of what I write. Do you agree with this?


    If you do, I promise you I will cause you some kinds of pain, but also make it possible for you to experience every "kind of" joy and pleasure, starting with the pleasure of pain diminishing, all the way to the relief of abating unbearably intense joyful bliss.



    Very few people are able to assimilate what I am sharing. This will change in the future but for now, in most minds, my writing causes discomfort, or more technically speaking, cognitive dissonance.





     Unless you understand what cognitive dissonance is and are able to recognize it in yourself before you succumb to  its resolution through denial of facts, there is not a chance in the world that you will escape the matrix of lies and deceit that hold you in a confining mental space like a fly caught in a spider's web. So if you in principle value truth above worldly comforts, the first truth you must study and learn is of the vulnerabilities in your own ability to absorb and integrate disquieting truths.



  This is a very informative article and should be read slowly while making sure one recognizes in one's own mind the mechanisms described. We all have such mechanisms and they are as commonly true as 1+1=2.


    The reason an adamant assertion that 1+1=3 is uncomfortable, is cognitive dissonance. Should such an assertion be made by an authority one holds close to one's heart, any choice one makes to handle this abortion of coherence entails a loss of some kind, of something dear to you. Even if one chooses to explore the assertion by the authority that 1+1=3, and one becomes convinced it is true, one now must face the discomfort of believing something most every one else disagrees with, with the likelihood that should one share what one now believes, one will be ostracized and labelled with terms such as "crazy" and "insane" and being unworthy of rational discourse.


If you are still reading and your choice is to keep my voice in your mind, let me linger here for a while and explore with you the potential nature of the change that my voice in your mind might cause you to experience.

It is a revolution of being, a turning in of what is out and out of what is in. It is to reverse inevitable disintegration, and to attain the means of increasing an everlasting elevation. If you ask, as you should if you don't already know, what is good about going higher, ask any mountain climber and he will tell you, the view.

 A view doesn't have to be looking down to be expansive. The mountain climber's reason for climbing mountains is just a metaphor for attaining an inclusive perspective of where one is coming from or where one might go. To look down and see far, is only possible above an abyss, to look up and see far one only needs to step outside.


To see is to be and to look is to see more and be more.

Now I am going to use height as a metaphor for attaining an expanding viewpoint, but this by no means entails looking down at anyone or that there is such a thing as someone being beneath one's self. There is such a thing as someone seeing less, however, just as there is such a thing as having in the past, seen less one's self. It is common wisdom that age brings perspective.

When youths possess perspective, we say they are wise for their age.


Should one be able to "climb" and expand one's own mind by looking around, at an ever increasing panoramic vista, while yet keeping all one's points of view achieved during one's ascent and temporary descents, all as a series of memories coming together as a narrative of transcendent ascendance, one could understand anyone yet "beneath" one in their own mind, and describe the path before them so as to help and encourage them as they make their own way up. If one loses one's own past points of view, one loses touch with one's former self and others, now where one has formerly been, but no longer is. Better to hold on to all one's memories and integrate all one's points of view into a dynamic expanding harmony, that has bridges to every one else in one's heart.  A true enduring state of harmony is in flux, as it is the nature of the universe to challenge harmony with new manifestations of chaos so as to necessitate an ever growing integration of diverse information.



Certainly I have been greatly helped and have benefited much from learning from other's ascendance of Mount Zion.


Don't let my choosing to call the Mountain we all climb, Mount Zion, throw you off. Don't let that my saying  so, is written in the scriptures, cause you so much discomfort, you lose heart. Everything will come together if you persist in your keeping me in you head, so to speak.

The idea of Mount Zion does not represent a place on the planet earth. It is a metaphor for that place in our mind where we achieve not only an encompassing  tolerance for all of creation, but an almost desperate love and passion to know more of our Creator.  

 Carry on.

  The higher you are, the more you can see and appreciate and be thankful for. The more elevated your own mental position, your suffering and pain, your past shame and disgrace, make sense. I can say of myself that I have become happy for every kind of misery I have ever experienced and would gladly suffer more as long as I maintain the belief that it will do me as much good in the future as it has done me in the past.

To explain how this can be true, let me tell you more about your own mind. I will and can only speak of mine, but there is much all minds have in common, or we couldn't communicate at all. So by describing how your mind works as such exists in mine, I establish a bridge between us across which can travel the ideas I am intent on sharing with you.



It is ever more often said, that all truth is relative and subjective. Some people mistakenly "blame" Einstein and his theories of relativity for this. What Einstein actually proved as much as anything can be proven, is that two people with the same governing principles (laws) operating in their minds, under the same circumstances regarding their position in time and space, always see the same thing concerning objects in motion and the passage of time. And that two people under different circumstances, see different things. One might wonder why one needs Einstein for such a self evident truth. Science can only learn what is already true about the government of the common mind.

What is true for me and I believe everyone, is that my mind is divided into what I experience as a partial representation of what is  existing around it, outside it, and the personal reality of myself and my own character and nature, which for our purposes right now,  I will call my heart.

The world "out there" is often called the objective universe. This is because if we are each a subject, what we each see,  is an object. What we experience as the physical universe, is one great object. That whatever we know of this object must exist in our mind where only we can see it as we do, is what makes everything seem relative to the viewpoint of an individual. We might agree on an image, such as the sun,



 being practically the same for all of us, but what that image means can only be a matter of  interpretation and agreement. One thing that can be said about the physical universe for sure, is that in matters of communication, it is the easiest aspect of our existence to achieve agreements about, regarding the names we use to describe and define it.

It is simply there to be seen and labeled. As long as we agree on the labels, we can understand each other when each of us describes what he or she sees.

What we feel when we see what we do, how we interpret it and its significance to us as individuals, that of course differs both culturally and as individuals. The sun  has been considered by many in different cultures over the course of history, as a deity.



Others saw it as  a lifeless heavenly body created by God. Everyone sees it, but what it means in the scheme of the cosmos, is a matter of interpretation and cultural and individual  belief. As with the sun, so with all things we perceive of the physical universe.

I call that part of our mind that determines how we feel about things in the physical universe, the heart. The heart is where are values are kept and I don't mean values from necessarily a moral point of view. If someone chooses to give  value to butterflies at some point in one's life, one will then have feelings about butterflies that are not shared by those who don't value butterflies. This has nothing to do with morals.

If as I do, you value the freedom of the butterfly more than the possession of it, you might find this picture somewhat disturbing. Our values determine how we feel about everything and when you know someone's values and their hierarchy in that person's heart, you can completely predict that person's behavior.  But this is far more complex with sophisticated people.


Our values come from four sources.

First and foremost are genetic values and we cannot have values that are not in resonance with our genetic propensities. Genetic values first have to do with self sustenance in a physical sense and then in an emotional sense. Our genes determine the value we put on our mother and her genes determine the value she puts on us. If a person's brain is genetically wired so that they cannot experience much empathy, no amount of cultural indoctrination will cause them to really feel care for others as individuals with their own feelings. They can't experience a sympathetic understanding of other's being.




 Nevertheless, they might value a sense of having a social identity and be taught how to behave with others as a group member, but they won't be able to feel care for another except as their relationship with the other influences what they do care about, that being their value as a member of the group they belong to, starting with the family.

The second source of values that we are programmed with and that determine our feelings and behavior, is the cultural environment we are raised in, starting with our immediate family. Here we are taught respect for life and the value of personal and public property, the importance of education and  financial success.

 Or not. This is the realm of indoctrination.







 Again, whatever we are taught, we can assimilate it and integrate it with our own nature only if our genetic values allow this. Very fine people can raise a serial killer.   A severely autistic child  might not resonate with attempts to teach the importance of personal relationships. No one can do anything that is beyond their genetic propensities. Genetic propensities create a field of potentials that manifest or not, depending on whether the cultural environment promotes or inhibits certain behaviors. A  child with a capacity for empathy who receives none himself, may not exhibit empathy until meeting others who empathize with him, thus establishing an environment that promotes the displays of empathy he is capable of, enabling him to discover himself in ways he never knew before.



The third source of values is the mechanism wherein the person assigns arbitrary value to objects or abstractions so as to resolve otherwise insoluble cognitive dissonance through self distraction. Let's say a person can't choose between two women he believes himself to be  in love with. He doesn't want to hurt either of them to the same degree and the future he imagines with one is no better than the future he imagines with the other. Instead of making an arbitrary choice that would give him no peace of mind, and therefore wouldn't really resolve his dilemma, he suddenly values  patriotism and decides his country is in need of his service. He comes to the conclusion that this higher calling and service of something "greater" than himself  is more important than his own personal and emotional well being. He abandons both women and joins the army. The sudden emotional release and relief he feels upon making his decision to leave his insoluble problem behind, is interpreted as proof of its correctness. Then he gets killed in action, bereaves both women, never has any children and his country loses the war, proving the arbitrary nature of his decision to resolve a problem with non confrontation and self distraction.



 Such a solution is arbitrary because it serves no purpose other than a very shortsighted release of tension and in itself is self defeating, eventually causing far more pain and chaos than it resolves.  This mechanism has a lot to do with fetishes of all kinds and addictions. A fetish can be an object, an idea or an activity. It is the arbitrary assignment of value to anything that has no innate life serving benefit other than temporary release from stress or the attainment of some mind numbing pleasure or pain,  as a means of distraction, from what is perceived as an insoluble cognitive discomfort.


It is common to think of fetishes as having something to do with sex and very often they do. This is because sex is the cause of much cognitive dissonance.  We all have sudden thoughts and urges and fantasies concerning sexual activities we fear would be frowned upon if not totally condemned by those surrounding us in the cultural environments  we find ourselves in, should these "outrageous" impulses  be exposed. The desire to experience the imagined pleasure of gratifying such urges is a very potent psychic force and the potential cause of much cognitive dissonance, and therefore the reason for much arbitrary assignment of value as distraction.  



 Domination fetishes derive from a desire to regain control over one's sexuality and one's life. It is motivated by a desire to give  one's self over to being the cause  for other's feelings and sensations rather than the victim of people we value and that cause us pain and discomfort.  Masochism is the arbitrary giving one's self over to  someone else as cause over oneself,  so as to experience release and relief from the tension of having to make decisions. Paradoxically, the masochist feels  most in control  when someone else is causing them painful and humiliating sensations and feelings as a matter of choice, rather than as an unwilling victim.   





The fourth source of values is the intellect and the result of confronting cognitive dissonances and assuming a personal hierarchy of importance. One that seeks the resolution of psychic discomfort through the adoption of strategies that at least have the appearance of being most life serving over the longest period of time possible. This is only possible when one values truth above comfort because one sees it's acquirement as ultimately the most life serving strategy in the management of one's own affairs, as well as the affairs of those dependent on one for the information they think with. Many very intelligent people will ignore information, deny it and invalidate its source when it threatens their own emotional well being and social value. They do this often without recognizing themselves what they are doing, because they sincerely define themselves as honest truth seeking people, despite all evidence to the contrary. Their mind compartments itself so as to prevent conflicting information from coming together in their attention span. The contemplation of conflicting information is what causes cognitive dissonance to begin with. Unless one is willing to suffer for the truth as a strategy for the attainment of an ultimate quality of life as so defined by one's self, and in accordance with one's own genetic propensities, one will always believe comfortable truths, no matter how intelligent one is and what one considers about one's own truth seeking integrity. Very few people are genetically wired to prefer the discomfort of disillusionment, out of the belief that the truths so attained  are actually the treasures that make life worth living. 




Civilization would fall apart very quickly if every one were to embark on a selfless truth seeking expedition, even if they only do this in the confines of their own mind. Cultures, from the family to the nation, are held together by the indoctrination that the group's knowledge and assessment of its individual member's value, is more valid than the individual's "self serving opinion of himself" particularly when attained through such usually illicit behaviors as self exploration through the use of hallucinogens. 

Discovering one can see such images within one's own mind might deter one from watching commercials and consuming products, that one is indoctrinated to believe one needs in order to be happy. Discovering entertainment and education within one's own mind and from one's own life narratives is an economic liability for society at large. 

If you want to free your mind and enable yourself to think freely, as an expression of your truest nature, the first step is recognizing your own defense mechanisms against the discomfort of discovering uncomfortable truths concerning the society around you and of which you are a part. Once one achieves an independent mind, one can embark on a journey of self exploration and discovery. Before you stop pulling the wool over your own eyes, you cannot see the immutable truths of your own nature. There is a reflection of the infinite and eternal universe within your mind that is uniquely yours. No one has ever and no one else will ever see the universe exactly the way it exists in you. 

What could possibly be more important that discovering within yourself a treasure put there by God? One God created just for you.

You have an opportunity to become like the number 11. 

 11

One Big God and One Little You standing at God's Right Hand. Once you discover this treasure, you will no longer ever need anyone else to teach you or tell you about God and your place in the universe or what you are meant to do.


Now, what do you think happened on September 11, 2001 in The United States of America? 




Whatever you think of the events of that day, it has been having far reaching consequences on the world and the Mind of Mankind- and therefore your mind, too. The American Government published a version of the events of that day that makes no sense whatsoever to me, after I examined all the evidence I could gather on the internet. The lies and deceit seemed so outrageous to me, the complacence of the many who choose ignorance rather than confront anomalies, was so disheartening, that it shook  the foundations of my mind like an earthquake and caused me
great cognitive dissonance. The resolution of this spiritual crisis has been such a Great Blessing for me, I can say that the events of 911
are the best, the most valuable  and most important occasion in my life. 
I sincerely hope with all of my being, that this becomes true for you to.
What better way could there possibly be to honor the people who died so miserably that day, than to make of it the pivotal point of  inflection
wherein mankind begins to achieve
 an ever growing 
integrity of mind?
A chapter from my Auto Biography concerning the events of September 11 of  The Year, 2001.
                                                            My Experience of 911
     

                        










Monday, April 10, 2017

DMT, DNA, PI, God and Beyond The Lie

There is so much going on right now.
How does one begin
when the beginning itself is so elusive?

It's consequences inconclusive.
The narratives all allusive.
And science so collusive.
Human knowledge bundled up
in fabrication and yarn.

How do I start?
Perhaps with an invitation into my heart.
If you are alive, I love you.
Starting from a virus I work my way up,
all the way to the very top.
A rising spiral of DNA.

DNA Logarithms galore manifest as living art
in a gallery of writhing snake skins

enticing you in, with lace fractal dreams,
spinning around conundrums
that always ask   "Why?" before "What?".
"Why don't you eat me?" says the pi to the complete.
"Wrap yourself round me......"says
the circle to it's diameter,
".....and you will never die
for as long as you keep trying."
Stretch your mind around a paradox.
Digest in jest and never die. The funeral is a lie.
Just say good bye and eat.
There's more meat down the street,
Don't take the highway. Life doesn't die,
just says good bye.

Try DMT.
If you dare,  go free.
At the very least, it will teach you-
a little bit,  how your mind comes together.

As I arise there is less of me to see.
Less of me in the way of I.

The higher I rise the more I have eyes 
to look through, ballast be gone.


Faster than the speed of light
in a quantum leap of insight,
here I am, inside your mind,
sharing your view. Inside and out.
Don't be a circle, be a rising bubble.
A growing imperfect sphere of insight.


Let go of math, geometry, science and physics,
they will take care of themselves,
take care of you.

Listen to Revel.

Look for variations on a theme,
narrative and poet, try.
Poetry. 


Expand like diameter, chasing a sphere
from the inside, reaching out.
I am there to help you tessellate
the pieces of your puzzle.

To help you coalesce. 
It's all about integrating
the disintegrated
pieces of your mind.
Find, integrated, peaceful, kind.

And now a poem I wrote before DMT....
..... e-l-e-v-e-n Rotating 11:11 is becoming 11 square 11 square e-l-e-v-e-n 

 The nature of the universe
involves an evolving visceral reality,
ever more complex and sophisticated,
always incomplete and of ever greater breadth.
One unending breath.
An ebb and flow, rise and fall, fluctuation,
elevation and descent.
Revelation after reevaluation of discontent.
Discovery and loss of innocence,
ever persistent ignorance
that lessens over time,
while wisdom grows,
yet never fast enough to catch the light.
The visceral knows the limitations of sight.
Aesthetics
and Anesthetics

to prolong the game of gain,
there is reason for pain,
not to die of astonishment





I am still processing the experience.
I broke through and into the DMT dimension,
only to discover myself already there waiting for my arrival.
As always I greeted myself with a story or revival and survival
of coming back from the dead and lead to gold.
My soul has not been sold over to the lie that life can ever die.
My trip was very short and very powerful


I did an about face in a fractal lace at a very quick pace,
a spherical loop expanding in temporal space

 I think a lot of what this guy says at the end of the video is nonsense, but what do I know? Both Discretion and an Open Mind have their time and place in the scheme of things. You decide.

 When all things are said and done
one's images are all aligned behind one
so that there is nothing left to see.
Looking back at how one came from A to be
at the end of one's line,
at the completion of time.
Finally, it's not even a lesson learned,
it's poetry. Epic, eccentric,
a voyage wherein everything moves but the seeing I.
A journey to go free
by standing still
until all things pass through.
Until left like a tunnel with a mind,
looking for a train
or waiting for an earthquake.


Now I know, some will say no,
no DMT.
That's perfectly fine,
don't cross that line.
You don't have to be me
for you to go free
Just watch this for as long as you can, 
without averting your eyes


Do you know what a Mandelbrot Set is?
I didn't know I know myself until a few hours ago.
I am no mathematician, just a mystic poet and philosopher.
But look here, there are some very good explanations
and very pretty moving pictures.  
The Math For Those Who Already Know Math and Pictures For Those Who Don't
In my mind on DMT I saw a poem like this.
Look above, look below
Fly like a dove, fall like the snow. 
Learn how science learns what the mind knows.
Now watch this.
This explains why wave functions collapse into form
and the mind comes together like coalescing foam.
 Are there really 11 dimensions, or perhaps 26?



Now read this...........

The Number 11, Sign and Symbol of The Divine

I just completed Westworld, season 1, after my DMT trip,
and wrote this.

 There very well might be an infinity of worlds
spinning around in an infinity of universes,
all for eternity, each with a different story line,
for each one of the countless minds, that come and go.
All in an never ending game of hide and seek,
hold on and let go, prevail and surrender, live and let die,
die and let live, once again, forever moving in and out,
like a needle and a thread, sewing together fabrications,
in a patchwork of possibilities.
It might be a puzzle with multiple answers
or a maze with a single way out.
Contrivance with no real solution,
go back, sleep and dream again different,
or wake up and drink a solution to forget.
However you see it, at any point on any endless line
you will always be confined
by what comes before and what lies behind,
even if you say its all just in your head.
Before all beginnings and beyond every end
is the same circle that surrounds what's within.
The One is bigger than all one contains.
Perfect Cause greater than Perfect Effect
by reason of all The Living One doesn't affect.


A Tunnel With A Mind? 
I have a Funnel Mind.
A Song To My God of Art!
Come in through the ear of my heart,
and Hear The Purpose of Art.

 

 I have a funnel mind,
a point of inflection and correction,

 an inversal of direction,
you can't come in and leave the same,
a point of reference in a new equation,
no more need for salvation.


 A fulcrum that ends all damnation,
come into my mind......
e-l-e-v-e-n Rotating 11:11 is becoming 11 square 11 square e-l-e-v-e-n 

Now see if you can stretch your mind around this...........

God Drives Me To Abstraction

Saturday, April 1, 2017

God Drives Me To Abstraction- Integration and Disintegration

Starting a post with an outrageous claim is no way to get people to read it. I know that. Never the less, here I am, about to say something some might interpret as glaring proof I am insane.

From the moment I remember myself contemplating the world around me and in me, which is from the very beginning of my conscious mind, God has had a living presence within and around my self that has grown in significance and influence and has finally come to completely dominate even the smallest details of my life.

 It is like slowly falling so deeply in love that one's every waking moment is of one's beloved and one's dreams are all of one's beloved, too.

This ever present living other is entwined in the fabric of my thoughts and feelings, more so than in any intimacy I have shared with a woman. It is like being constantly coupled in a perfect moment of sex. Of course it has an ebb and a flow, it is a relationship that breathes, albeit somewhat breathlessly.

 It is a relationship that is intense and relentless with an inner essence that is not me, that has it's own vibrant character, one that can easily overwhelm me with it's overflowing vitality, far beyond my own. I tire and God is tireless. It is as if  He is always waiting for me to awaken from my slumber so as to share with me some wisdom or show me some wonder.

    Now I say "He" but don't let that confuse you, because I am a man myself and here I am speaking of God as one might of a wife,  but  I call Him  "He".

   I do this because as goes energies of the male, this presence is penetrating and seductive, unimaginably strong and domineering and I am within myself  like an ever reborn virgin being courted to let go and let Him in.

 His virility and potency to cause me to quicken and  change and become pregnant with new ideas, are boundless, tempered by a  knowledge of my being that brings processes to fruition in a crescendo that climaxes in my explosive recognition of a living wisdom that ceaselessly astounds me and causes me to constantly reexamine my ideas about Him and The Universe He creates me in and the universe He creates in me.


He drives me to abstraction.

In every sense of the word.

Always has.

 The contemplation of His timeless, space-less paradoxical nature has left me absent minded from the affairs of others and the details of events that appear to have no bearing on the resolution of this ever evolving mystery. I always think in terms of the universal and search for immutable and all encompassing  truths, because such truths are a Knowledge of God. All information is only as valuable  as can be abstracted from it a Knowledge of God and What He Is Doing to the universe and the life within it, including and most importantly for me, my own life within.

   My psychologist, God Bless her soul, commented that this must be exhausting, and sometimes it  is. Making love on the full spectrum of one's capacity for motion and sensation is time and energy consuming.
 
Isn't it a cliche that happy lovers on a honeymoon remain for days on end in their bedroom and have meals delivered to their door? Such is my life.

Not that we don't quarrel, either. I need consistency and a degree of predictability, some kind of stability, as would want any one in a relationship. God doesn't give me that, the way I experience myself wanting it. It is a ceaseless series of explosive surprises. God doesn't let me pity myself, not for a moment. He knows very well how grateful I am and even more so, how grateful I should be, for experiencing Him in a way unparalleled by anyone ever, including Moses. Moses was more delusional than I am. He had visions of diseased walls and clothing that no one else could see and called it leprosy as the same disease appeared on people's bodies. He made all kinds of religious instructions for the priests who were responsible for dealing with outbreaks of leprosy in people or in property. I don't think anyone but Moses ever saw what he was talking about, but as it says, the people believed in God And Moses His Servant, and no one ever dared say that the spiritual emperor Moses is as naked in certain ways as anyone.

    Though I have been very delusional, my final comprehension of the mechanics, the workings of creation, will be an emanating singularity in the common mind that promulgates a Knowledge of God for the duration of mankind's communal consciousness. Quite a statement, eh?  To understand this, think of the Egyptian pyramids.

Here they are, a  massive structural accomplishment of both great simplicity and complexity, a wonder and a mystery that have survived unresolved as physical objects in the mind of man for over 4,500 years.

During all this time, until this very day, the pyramids have evoked speculation about  how they were made and what context of knowledge they represent. So it is in history, culture and civilization, a man has a vision coalesce in his mind and a vision is always a mental structure of some kind.

 Visions can be simple, two dimensional, black and white and static, such as geometric forms, or sophisticated, intricate and complex with moving parts, like a Swiss Watch or a locomotive. They can be concrete, like the Pyramids, or like the Twin Towers of 911, immortalized ironically by reason of their mysterious collapse. Physical  monuments that become iconic manifestations of human imagination, or abstract, like the intuitive visions of mathematicians like Godel and physicists like  Einstein.

Of Godel let me say, he is the most important thinker until me.

The difference between us is only that God will validate Godel and God's Own Existence through me, for all of mankind, and for all time.  Godel's name itself is blatantly ironic. The man who proves God's existence as an axiomatic logical necessity, has the word God in his name in both English (God) and Hebrew (El אל )
and this name could be said to encompass Godel's whole idea.

The word El in Hebrew means "direction towards" and intimates any kind of motion or gravity itself, gravity being the phenomenon of potential innate motion between physical objects at a distance. If all the physical objects with their locations that were, are or will ever be, have a circle drawn around them it can only Be God drawing the circle, Hence the irony of the name Godel.


Godel is so important, here is his picture.
His contribution to the common mind is far more important than the pyramids or Einstein's theories or relativity.

 " toward the end of his life Einstein confided that his "own work no longer meant much, that he came to the Institute merely ... to have the privilege of walking home with Gödel".

 Godel's “ Incompleteness Theorem.” is the most enduring knowledge of God ever formulated in Mathematics. It is true everywhere and all the time, something that one cannot say of Relativity on the level of quantum mechanics. It is the foundation of the humility that makes the knowledge of God possible.

Godel's Incompleteness Theorem or The Mathematical Proof Of God 



Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem says:
“Anything you can draw a circle around cannot explain itself without referring to something outside the circle – something you have to assume but cannot prove.”





 Godel paid heavily for his visions and comprehension of the universe and the limitations on the mind's understanding of it.  He suffered from bouts of mental illness, particularly paranoia. Socially, he didn't embrace wholeheartedly the implications of his own work, that being the existence of God and his  belief that God is personal.  He had his own irrational relationship with Christianity going on and that must have caused him severe cognitive dissonance,  for he had a mind that strove for harmonious solutions in all his reasoning and he couldn't have reconciled logically the idea of a perfectly Good Christian God and his own experiences and his knowledge of what happened at the hand of the Nazis, whom he himself fled from.  He persistently harbored irrational ideas of persecution in his personal life and I assume these were a projection of his unresolved issues concerning God's having to be the creator of everything evil as well as everything good, by his own theorem. His Christian narrative denial of God's creating evil became an irrational fear of evil intended to be done to him by people who had free choice and free choice is irrational if everything within his understanding of mathematics is valid. Per Godel, creation is perfectly complete and God must exist outside of it to make it happen, though this cannot be proven in a mind or a laboratory. Particularly because laboratories are inventions of the mind to examine phenomenon within it.

Perhaps he believed that God was after him for not going all the way personally with his own understandings that everything that ever was, is, or ever will be- is simply here, right now and complete.

At any rate, he starved himself to death, as he was absolutely certain that anything he ate was poisoned. In his fear that he would be killed by others he killed himself. Now he was vastly more intelligent than I am, but I am wiser in my complete and absolute surrender to God's Omnipotent Creativity. Creativity of which I am merely a finite temporal and spatial manifestation who knows this of himself. My wisdom is God given and of no credit to me. It is the means by which God accomplishes His purpose which is that I comprehend certain visions He puts into my mind and then describe these visions and ideas for the perusal of posterity.  My observing sense of self that sees the manifestation of self that is me, is itself  part of the package of having a mind to experience God's Creativity. To be coherent, a mind must be finite and not strive to experience infinity or eternity. One must make peace with one's own mortality. There is nothing more substantial to a sense of self than anything else.

It is a creation of a Selfless God.

So I don't believe in an immortal soul as being by any means necessary for a resolution of issues of  God's nature being ultimately Good or Benevolent or Just, etc. I don't need a postulated after life to balance out the equations of what I think the universe should be like. It is what it is and that is something that is getting better all the time, as it exists in my mind. Whatever it is, though, is God's and not mine.


My own experience of God's existence in my mind would drive any one else insane. He leaves me absolutely nothing of my own. That I have a sense of self despite this, is a kind of something from nothing miracle. It fluctuates. At times I feel as inconsequential as an image in the mirror, completely flat and of no duration longer than God's looking at me as as a reflection of His Own Creativity. If he looks away, I am gone as if I had never been there. If its just the lights that go out, there is still a chance  I will be there when they turn back on. If they turn back on. But who knows the future of a reflection if one has no control over what is being reflected?
 If God should walk away from the mirror...

Poof.


Gone, without  a trail of smoke or a memory of me in any one' mind.

No matter how important the personage of a person who walks down a Hall of Mirrors, once gone, the mirrors retain nothing of the person's passing through.

Fortunately for me, I am not just a fleeting reflection of an image of an object in God's mind, I am a story about such reflections and the story is in a book that will be published, metaphorically. And the story has a lesson to be learned about the nature of everything, at all times and everyplace, no matter the what of the nature of the things, their times in the schemes of things, or the places things can be.

Even this book and its lessons are fleeting reflections in a mirror  that exists without needing to reflect anything at all.

Art for Art's Sake.

 Who says God has to share his creations and their reflections to enjoy them? That fact that I experience myself as being the sharing of God's Creativity is what makes my love for the Divine so Sublime.  This is the Hall of Mirrors full of people who thought they were important.


And this is the same hall, many years later, when all the people in the first picture have been dead and gone and few remembered.





Don't think about this too much or it might drive you crazy.

And so it is that minds come and grow and go and have during their duration visions, and secrete through communications with other minds, the nature of such visions, creating a potential for a shared likeness and mutual realities. When the vision is of physical objects and others come to share the vision, with mutual contributions and efforts on the part of all the participating minds, an object can be brought out into the shared reality of mankind, available to be experienced to some degree by anyone who can travel or with access to the internet.

Witness again the pyramids. Or an IPhone. Steve Jobs's vision of a personal computer evolved in much less time than it took to build the pyramids, into something with exponentially greater influence over the environment minds will be born into, from here on out. Life is getting ever quicker, more sophisticated and complex in the monuments created that become common realities and focus points for mental integration.

One cannot know for certain what was in Pharaoh's mind as context for the Pyramid. One can speculate on that but the only facts one has to speculate with are the consequences of the secretions of Pharaoh's mind as communications into the minds of others and the resultant  physical realities that have been there to be perceived these last 4500 years. Until the advent of writing there was no way to turn mental secretions concerning the nature of the universe into physical realities that can be shared except through the process of having living physical bodies tell stories into other people's minds, through the medium of their physical bodies. The possibilities for misinterpretation and misrepresentation using this medium are endless.  The accumulation of shared knowledge was painstakingly slow and so open to personal interpretation that social cohesion around common narratives was  frail and vulnerable to any one with a vision of their own, probably common when hunter gatherers ate wild mushrooms for sustenance.

Farming and writing came together. Mental resonance increased with common interests pursued in conjunction with agreed upon narratives preserved in writing for common perusal for  those with the mental propensity to learn how to read and write. Cultures coalesced, civilizations gather around the visionaries bast able to communicate their mental secretions of integrating ideas, producing a rise in the dopamine level of the common mind and the creation of lock step  thinking.

Lock step thinking is neither good or bad, it is the means of attaining great Pyramid Like accomplishments.

Hitler is a recent example of a visionary with a culturally integrating idea, based on the most common denominators of  human behavior around self serving values with a narrow context of  self identification. He abstracted the Aryan Race from humanity the same way the Jews extract themselves as a nation from humanity in certain interpretations of their narrative. Ironic, but  the Children of Israel became a nation with the idea that Moses had given them, that being genocide best served their purposes for cultural self preservation and expansion. That didn't work out, as God had other more expansive and inclusive plans,  no matter what Moses heard Him say to Moses, in Moses's  mind.

Integration and disintegration are processes that describe all living activity. They are both happening at the same time for any kind of digestive activity has to do with breaking things apart (disintegration) and putting them back together again. (integration) When a virus  successfully attaches its DNA to the DNA in a cell, the process is called integration and the immediate result is the disintegration of the cell's mechanisms to do the work it was intended to and the integration of the cell's protein producing capacities, to produce more viruses.

Learning of any kind and on any level is a process of integration and the cross referencing of data.
DNA evolves in that it expresses an ever increasing integration of knowledge concerning the environments the organisms it produces will find themselves. All biological integration mechanisms stem from genetic algorithms and disintegration of the body and mind are also manifestations of genetic imperatives. In animals the behavior of individual organisms is easily explained and predicted by applying the fives primal functions of all living things.

1. Self Creation
2. Self Preservation
3. Self Expansion
4. Attacking Barriers To Expansion
5. Defending Self From Attack

The Five Primal Genetic Imperatives For All Living Things

Now to help illustrate the sophisticated, complex, intricate and evolving vision I have of how God creates the universe in the mind of man, and the mind of man in the universe, let me share with you some of what has been going on in my mind recently.

I have been having a quarrel with God.

You see, God is doing whatever it takes to integrate my mind with His Will to have me write what I do on the internet. I am sure like everything else, this takes absolutely no effort whatsoever on His part, but for me it means constant aches and pains and reassessments of priorities. I keep having to detach myself from people I care about, as what is going on inside of me can't be fully shared and is all consuming of my attention.  I keep trying to solidify my ideas of God so that I can orient my sense of self appropriately and integrate myself into the lives of the people around me, sharing what I have gained in knowledge of His Nature, as such is hidden from the minds of others. In other words, that part of my brain responsible for human social connectivity is in deep pain, as going insane hasn't done much for my social life.

 I am an emotional recluse despite craving emotional connection.

 Now that I am no longer insane and am able to differentiate between delusions and realities, my desire to give and receive empathy has returned with a vengeance.  Part of me wants to cash in on the value of my insight and hard won wisdom by integrating myself into other people's hearts by giving them valuable advise. I used to make a very good living, doing this, so it is not unreasonable for me to believe that after all I have been through, I could do this even better. Particularly as I wouldn't take money today for what I would share. The joy of sharing would more than suffice as a return for my efforts.

But God keeps testing my love and my faith without giving me any respite to rest and coordinate my new found sense of self, because whatever sense of self I gain in integration of new views and visions, disintegrates before the heat of God's Passion to share His ever evolving character in my mind.

Let me give you an example. It's as if God keeps telling me, "Sit still and shut up! Now Look At This!" and then He goes silent and directs my attention to some emerging new idea of His Nature. Its as if you have a wild lover who keeps testing your love by showing you how wanton  they can be. A woman you once thought modest and virginal suddenly spreads her legs and exposes herself with a wide enticing smile and quivering lips, saying with bated breath, "Do you still love me?" and while your mind rebels against the outrageous and shameless self display, your passion is kindled and waxes inordinately strong overwhelming any  mental qualms you initially have against reaching out and fondling her  again and again. No matter how difficult and painful the relationship, despite its costing you everything of this world, you can't get enough of your lover. 

 I honestly often don't want to know what God sometimes shows me.  But God is relentless, unstoppable, tireless and He knows my limitations and boundaries better than I do, so when I am completely overwhelmed and out of breath, He retreats and gives me just enough time to catch my breath before initiating another round of intercourse.

Moses, based on his personal experience, I am sure, calls God a consuming fire and jealous Lord. I can think of no better way to describe The God I know within me and around me than this.

Consuming fire?

God's Heat of Heart breaks down into elements all fabrications of any kind in my mind, and then He breaks apart the elements themselves into the most fundamental particles, which he causes to disappear and appear like pixels on the screen of my mind.

A Jealous Lord? The vector of all I experience points at Him and His Design, no attempts on my part to distract myself from His Character are of any avail. He is there before I arrive anywhere, awaiting me with signs that cause endless wonder and awe before the totality and pervasiveness of His Living Nature.


Recently, I was watching and listening to a YouTube video about quantum mechanics. I was thinking that quantum particles are as unpredictable as cars driving on the road are predictable. There is a chance that either will do something you can't know for certain before hand. Cars seldom do this while subatomic particles do this all the time. Cars are predictable because they mostly seek integration with the traffic whereas no one knows what subatomic particles are integrating themselves into when they show up out of anywhere and no where in particular. No one but me and God, that is.

Wave unctions collapse the way they do in laboratories in order to baffle scientists.

So while I was feeling all self contained and complacent with my spectacular vision and wisdom, a video caught my attention on the corner of the web page of the video I was watching.

 It had 119273 views.

 It was about serial killers of the most sadistic and predatory kinds. Something I take no pleasure whatsoever in contemplating. That means, I have come to realize, God will have me contemplating it in short order. Again, as if to say, "Look at this. Do you still love me despite seeing what I am capable of? After seeing this, can you still maintain your Faith in my having the ultimate Goodness of Will you so desperately need me to have, for you to keep worshiping me?"

I had hoped I had resolved this issue a thousand times in the past. But no, my understanding needed to deepen and grow  in detail and perception of intricacy of the mechanic which brings about every heart rendering manifestation of Divine Will that appears inside my mind.

119273 views. 119 and 273 are both very significant numbers to me. As often happens to me, a pattern of numbers in a sequence that seems to me to be very statistically unlikely, catches my attention and causes my mind to focus on some significance I would integrate into my evolving philosophy of  Aesthetics as the Ultimate Divine Intent.  This started with the number 11 and culminated in the events of 11/9 or The Eleventh Day of the Ninth Month, 2001, 119 as written in Hebrew, or 911 in English.

Among other relevant possible meanings, 119 means Prophet of God or in Hebrew  נביא ליהוה , that being me, as far as I am concerned.

273 means  "Words of God to..."   or in Hebrew  דברי יהוה אל .

119273 - So, poetically speaking (that's how God speaks), one could read this as in Hebrew from right to left, "Words of God to a Prophet of God."


 With יהוה  (God) meaning, "The One Who Makes The Present From The Future and The Past",  one can then read this out as saying,

 "Words of  The One Who Makes The Present From The Future and The Past to a Prophet of  The One Who Makes The Present From The Future and The Past!"

In other words, God is telling me to look and see how He makes the present from the future and the past and it has something to do with sadistic serial killers. Sadistic serial murderers are a phenomenon that causes  social-harmony seeking minds like mine, to recoil in cognitive dissonance.
That a whole nation rises up and desires to inflict genocide on another nation is written about in the Bible. It has happened in recent history. It serves a purpose one can understand and yet repudiate, the idea that one enhances one's own survival by getting completely rid of one's competitors.  One guarantees self integration by causing one's enemies to completely disintegrate. One can even understand that there can be a pleasure involved in watching one's enemies perish.  The perception of enhanced survival potential and therefore self  sustaining and self serving pattern growth causes dopamine secretion. One cheers one's enemies' misfortunes and the economics of dopamine secretion regarding processes of  enhanced self integration and disintegration of  conceived barriers to one's own integrated expansion, is what makes the world go round.

   But what of  men, women and children, who sadistically kill, maim and torture, again and again, simply because it gives them  some kind of unfathomable pleasure? Why does God do  this to human beings, both perpetrators and victims? Animals kill to protect territory from foreign encroachment which is understandable per the laws of the jungle. They do it again and again and one can imagine that a lion or a monkey pack enjoys ripping an intruder to shreds as part of it's own survival, defense  and expansion strategy.

But what about fetish serial killers? It is easy to agree that there is something mentally wrong with them, But what? What is it about the human mind that allows for such a perverted and ultimately self defeating behavior? What is it about the mind of man as a divine creation that encompasses the inevitable manifestation of such bizarre pathology in all cultures, in all civilizations? I had always asked myself this question and had avoided giving it any serious thought as the subject matter is so disturbing. Never the less, my mind would always linger painfully whenever I encountered particularly disturbing stories of murder. This happens to many people and is why such stories gain such publicity. They bring to the attention a dangerous realm of ignorance concerning the mind and human behavior as well as the nature of God.

Why does He do this to the perpetrators, the innocent victims, and to us as unwilling spectators of horrific news, again and again? Recently, there have been stories of parents brutalizing and killing their own children with one mother drowning  her four youngsters in the bath, and then she hung herself after setting fire to the apartment she lived in. OK, she was clinically depressed after a troubling pregnancy and birth, but that just isn't an explanation for the act she committed. What she did must have been for her the least painful option and as the cessation of pain is itself a kind of pleasure, she might have smiled to herself as she did it, in relief.

I had thought to allow myself to simply make peace with the idea that there are things I will never understand about God's Creation of man's mind. But it is God's nature in my mind to flaunt His creativity and to challenge me to Love Him, anyway.  So I was exposed to a series of very disturbing You Tubes, over the course of a couple of days, many with sequences of the familiar numbers that seem to congregate causing me to focus my attention on an enigma behind the anomaly.

I felt angry and rebellious  and upset for days. 

    At one point, many years ago,  I had postulated that man has the ability to freely give ultimate value to anything at all, including women's shoes. Or an unworldly ideal. Once value is given to anything at all, the mind will seek integration around the object, be it physical or metaphysical, and the person will begin to manifest the principles of create, preserve, expand, attack and defend concerning it. So if for whatever reason, dopamine is secreted at an early age when a person lacks discretion, through the illogical association of an object with a desirable identity, a fetish is created and the person will begin to hoard experiences with female shoes, for example as in the case of
Fetish Killer-Female Shoes

 But why the murder?

Let's assume the portion of this person's brain responsible for empathy was impaired and therefor they didn't seek emotional integration socially. Brain chemistry, and the resultant manifestations of perception and sensation, resulting in behavior,  is a consequence of genetic propensities modified by environmental inhibitors or enhancers, according to the social  norms of the culture in which one is raised.


If mother is abusive and an enemy and one associates mother with all women, all women are enemies. If one can control a symbol of mother's hostile identity like her shoes, one will seek the dopamine rush of having experiences with her shoes, and later by association women's shoes in general, and will also seek the pleasure of causing mother and women to disintegrate in their offensive identities by causing them pain and finally killing  them, not only in one's own mind, but in actuality too. The lack of dopamine in matters of social integration means that other people aren't really real and are just threatening objects to be dominated, manipulated and eliminated when they are perceived to be a threat in any way. Causing barriers and impediments to one's own valuable manifestation of self expression to disintegrate, is a source of dopamine secretion and therefor pleasure.  Not doing so is painful. A serial killer lives in pain only abetted by carrying out his pleasure seeking behaviors and he or she lives in the confines of a mind that recognizes  life only in its self. Their brain lacks the chemistry and wiring that allows for the perception and value of other's people's feelings  in their own calculations of self interest.

Since I relinquished the idea of freedom of  human creation and see human creation as a manifestation of immutable Divine Will, serial killers and all atrocious human behaviors  are manifestations of genetic logarithms playing out every kind of  integration-disintegration realization in an endlessly intricate spectrum of possibilities.

There is no reason to hate Divinely Created human beings with deranged and pathological  mind sets, though one can hate sadistically  bizarre works of living art that force disintegration on the unwilling victims of  such mentally deranged individuals. When such people cannot be rehabilitated they should be put to death.

Genetics will manifest every kind of life form and behavior imaginable in the various and diverse environments of the biosphere. Genetics and environment are mutually influential in a sphere of ever evolving  complexity.

With the advent of modern technology and the internet, the economics of dopamine secretion will mutate and evolve, in ways no one can predict.  






 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

One Of Simulated Realities, Minds, Computers And Kisses

Ultimately, the idea of a computer simulated reality in which we are unwitting spectators can be abstracted into a solipsistic experience in which it is impossible to determine the reality of anyone else being alive but ourselves. The perception of incoming information would have a source, particular and peculiar unto ourselves with no ability on our part to know the nature of the source or its agenda, with us being absolutely at the mercy of what might be chaos itself, coming together and falling apart for no reason whatsoever. 

Something like this. A coalescent mind state that fluctuates and becomes a  sequence of moments and a narrative with no lesson to be learned.


 Doing this.
For no reason whatsoever. Forever.

Except perhaps Art.

Art for Art's Sake?  


Perhaps, but it's no computer simulation.

It's God Almighty.

Everything emerges from an all inclusive and absolutely cohesive unity,
represented by the

Number One as God.
 
All inclusive because no circle can be drawn around The One, as The One includes all circles and spheres and is part of none. It is the essence of All Inclusive Containment that has no borders or boundaries and is greater than infinite because there is no counting it in any kind of calculation and no measurement of its duration.  It is absolutely cohesive because there is no space in its elemental essence that can be increased  or diminished, it is not in motion and is perfectly static in relation to all it contains, which is everything but itself. It is neither fractal or composed of quanta, rather contains all phenomenon of fractal and quantified natures. 
 
It is that which imagines the impossibility of a kiss coming together through math and physics alone and imagines all the sensations and feelings that fill the empty spaces and make touching possible. It contains the idea of everlasting transcendence and ascendance, making possible an ever growing perspective and increasing context from which can be appreciated all that is Sublimely and Divinely Designed.  

It is not a computer simulation but that which simulates computers and the minds that use them and then makes them real by reason of the kisses they enable. A kiss cannot last for if it did, kissing would put an end to all other activity, in short order. 

We Are Not In A Computer Simulation




Tuesday, March 28, 2017

The End of The Beginning of The End 929



September 11. 2001 was the beginning of the end and September 29th,  2017 will mark the end, of the beginning....of the end.

My Experience of September 11th

I had completely run out of money.

Sarah, the exotic dancer from San Fransisco, had moved out of the apartment and left me alone to continue paying rent, something I couldn't do. I still gave a few English lessons every week which earned me enough for food. Instead of concerning myself with getting money somehow for rent, I went on a series of one man demonstrations against Ariel Sharon and his friendly relationship with George W. Bush. With my last hundred shekels I had printed out a 1000 copies of a page condemning Sharon for praising Bush, who I saw as actively complacent in the travesty of  September 11th, 2001. I walked wearing sack cloth, back and forth in front of The Likud headquarters in Tel Aviv. I gave out to the secretaries in the Likud building, free copies of the book I had written on the discrepancies,  contradictions and out right lies in the official version of the events of that infamous day. The book is still sold today in Israel.

A Picture Of The Book I Wrote On September 11

At this time I was getting free internet services from a shop owned by a woman named Dina who had taken a fancy to me and was very helpful. I was relentlessly trying to spread the truth and I told her what I believed about 911 and gave her a copy of my book. Sometimes she would ask me to watch the shop when she went on errands which I readily did. On one such occasion, confused and uncertain if the overwhelming urge I had to protest Sharon and invest my very meager resources was the right thing to do, I accidentally  knocked two cell phones off a shelf above my head, when I got up suddenly from the internet near the cash register to service a customer who needed to pay.  I was very absorbed into what I was writing on the internet and the client surprised me when they raised their voice and asked for service. It was about 10:30 in the morning. I took their money and put it into the cash register and then bent down to pick up the phones. They had both miraculously jumped to 11:11 on their displays.

The site I was writing on was a site of people who keep seeing 11:11 or the number 11.

When I told Dina that I had no place to stay as I had no money to pay rent where I had been staying, she offered me a room in a building of mostly migrant workers from Africa. The room was full of junk and was in serious need of a thorough cleaning, but it was obviously a solution that was part of the Divine Design of my unfolding narrative and when Dina said I could work in the shop to pay the rent I was overjoyed and full of gratitude towards her and to God. She had heard from me my stories about the number 11 and 11:11 and after she offered me the room, her computer suddenly jumped to the date November 11 or11/11 as it appeared on her screen. She started calling me a man of God.

I had a room, as much free access to the internet as I wanted and Dina even agreed to give me some pocket money above the value of the rent for my tending the shop. It was quickly obvious to her that all my attention was on writing on the 11:11 site and despite this, she had me tend shop even as I was mostly oblivious to what was going on when she wasn't there.

I started seeing the number 929 everywhere, first on license plates. Then there was a big sign hanging with a telephone number that had 929  in it. Someone came into the shop with an  address 9/29 on some street somewhere. At the same time, I started to have visions and dreams of a volcanic eruptions and some kind of natural disaster. It came into my mind that September 29th, 2004, would mark the date of some kind of event that would be catastrophic,  particularly as I woke up with the Hebrew Words    אש על צפון מערב which mean "Fire on The Northwest" and I knew it to mean in the USA. The value of these Hebrew Words in Gematria is 939 like the value of my name as well as the phrase from the Book Of Jeremiah which speaks of the True  Prophet sent by God or
 הנביא אשר שלחו יהוה which also equals 939.

In addition to this, the events of 119, as the date is written in Hebrew, were what led mt to believe that God was making of me a prophet in the spirit of the Hebrew Prophets, as I had been aware of this number weeks before the date of the tragedy and it meant for me something catastrophic causing a loss of faith and great weeping. In Hebrew אבדה האמונה  means "faith was lost" and as I understood it later, my faith was lost in government both in the USA and in Israel. 119 also equals ויבכו בכי גדול which means "and they wept greatly" as many did because of all the death and destruction. 119 also equals "Prophet of God" or in Hebrew נביא ליהוה which as I said, I believed I was becoming.

After I began working at Dina's shop, this is what I wrote in response to someone saying 11:11 has nothing to do with what happened on September 11, 2001, which as an event was thick with synchronicity around the number 11.

Jonathan
Jun 23, 2004
What happened on Sept. 11 has everything to do with 11:11 in my
opinion, as had I not investigated the synchronicity of the number
11 and that tragedy, I would never have discovered all I have come
to believe as to what is really going on in the world. If 11:11 is a
wake up call, the first thing one need wake up to is the matrix of
lies promoted by your political leaders. All of them.
\
If you don't investigate 9-11 and the number 11, you won't have a
solution for the 11 experience. investigate. its all there on the
internet and your life depends on independent thinking.

Don't let go of this one till you know what you think about it, after
research.LOTS OF RESEARCH-

SEPT 29, 2004- I WOULD STAKE MY LIFE ON THE WORLD CHANGING FOREVER
AFTER THAT DATE. 929!!!
Then,  I wrote this.
 

past, coming, or delusions of reality?

Expand Messages
Jonathan
Jun 29, 2004
This is such a lonely path, sometimes. Were it not for this "living
presence" whispering sweet consolations within me, I might have died
one thousand times. Maybe I did. Yet still I breathe and look out my
eyes at the colors and shapes, seeing the pieces of the world forever
falling into shifting patterns.

Sweet waves of nameless bliss roll over the island which is me.
Still I remain my self, looking, looking, looking about the ocean
around me, watching for the ship of my missing other.

Where are you, my love? Are you lost at sea? Have you gone down
under the waves into dark silences?

Has this world's shifting current carried you away forever? No, my
heart tells me, your love is mine. But where are you? Why am I alone
in my flesh? And who am I without you? So much silence, but for the
wind's whispering, I cherish my own thoughts as they drift through
me, I look at clouds of ideas like children do at the sky.

How will this story end? I ask myself that again and again as I wait
for the signs that only come when I'm not looking.

In my prayers I call out to the author of all, for how long must I
wait?

In my dreams come these visions.

Why the fire, Lord, why the liquid red flames?

Only more visions come.

The earth splitting open from within, swallowing the green living
things, turning bones into diamonds. Cracks across vast distances,
water into steam, birds plummet and mountains go flat like lakes of
black glass in which only nothing reflects.

Is this future or past? Perhaps just the feverish imaginings of a
lonely soul yearning to melt, merge, become part of something? Anger
denied becoming visions of wrath?

You decide.

I wait for my lover and dream of fire, surrounded by horizons of sea.
jmr
As it turned out and unknown to me, an asteroid was destined to pass by the earth on September 29th that same year and I was asked if that  is the event I am talking about. This is what I wrote in response.

Jonathan
Aug 24, 2004
--- In 11-11@yahoogroups.com, "Lisa" <dreamktcher1111@y...> wrote:
> Is this what you heard of that you think will happen then?
>
>
> http://www.rense.com/general50/sep29th2004.htm
>
I have heard of this but other than the obvious synchronicity between
this date and event and what I have been saying, I have no reason to
believe this is specifically what I am seeing. We are moving through
a place in outer space full of unknowns, and so we could worry about
something like this, and then a volcanoe will erupt and send lava so
high it falls from the sky someplace else. The solution is to
disregard the specifics of what will happen, and pray for guidance
that tells you the individual what to do and how to behave during
fears and uncertainties. The devil is in the details, its been said. 

Over the course of the next weeks up until September 29th, there was a series of volcanic eruptions leading up towards The Pacific Northwest, culminating in The Eruption of Mount Saint Helen. 
All of these developments are reported on in this 11:11 list and anyone interested can follow the developing drama in the posts. 
When Mount Saint Helens erupted, it was no catastrophe. No one was killed. The official eruption date was September 29th, 2004, as posted here.
 "The Second Anniversary of the 2004 to present eruption of Mount St. Helens
Bullets for Media Briefing, September 29, 2006

Overview of the eruption
Volumes, dimensions and eruption rates
Current conditions
Significance the Mount St. Helens eruption
Some recent investigations
Other Work - New Alert Level Notification System


Overview

Following 18 years of eruptive quiescence, Mount St. Helens began showing signs of unrest in late September 2004 and began a sustained dome-building eruption on 11 October 2004. The volcano continues to erupt today.
A series of steam-and-ash explosions began on 1 October through 6 October, followed by the first appearance of hot rock above the glacial surface on 11 October 2004
Since dome growth began, there have been only two explosive events: one in mid-January 2005 and the other early March 2005. Neither event was preceded by precursory activity. Both destroyed numerous instruments within the crater, emplaced small pebbles on the crater rim and resulted in a light dusting of ash on the volcano?s flanks.
Dome growth has been continuous since 11 October 2004. Six of the seven spines to date were extruded during the first year (October 2004-October 2005).
The first of four prominent spines or whalebacks (smooth-sided, elongate extrusions of mostly solid rock) grew southward and to the east, impinging on and greatly deforming the east crater glacier. With the formation of spine 6 at the end of year 1, we saw a redirection in dome growth towards the west and the beginning deformation of the west crater glacier.
Activity over the past year (October 2005-September 2006) has been steadily ongoing but with a slower extrusion rate compared to the past year.
There have been no explosive events over the past year.
Since October 2005, lava dome growth has centered on spine 7. It?s growth has been accompanied by numerous rockfalls The largest rockfall occurred on 29 May 06 that produced an ash plume that rose to at least 16,000 feet and a rock avalanche that swept over the eastern part of the 1980-86 lava dome, damaging two instruments and flowing about � the distance towards the crater mouth. This is the first time that a rock avalanche from a collapse has flowed beyond the margins of the 1980-86 lava dome. ......."

A few days less than three months later, an estimated 280,000 people died as a result of The Boxer Day Tsunami on December 26th, 2004.
There was a change of paradigm in my mind for sure. With everything else that had happened to me until then, I became absolutely certain that I am a True Prophet of  יהוה  God and I am The Messiah of The Jews. It seemed far more reasonable to believe that  the synchronicity I was experiencing was truly a sign that God had a plan for me, than to believe it was all just a meaningless coincidence, a random series of events that I associated together  as a meaningful pattern because I am mentally ill and like many other mentally ill people, I see patterns where none exist. 
September 29th, 2017, will mark closure on the cycle that began on September 11, 2001.
911=Beginning   ראשית
929 will be the end......of the beginning.

Monday, March 27, 2017

How To Confront Your Own Imminent Death 1111



 See the picture above? It is a symbol of your own home town. Don't just frown and turn your mind away. Seoul will be the first city to be blown to smithereens, On September 11, 2017. That's Fucking Soon, now isn't it?

  Seoul In Just A Few Days- on 9/11. Familiar Date? 

Very soon a lot of people are going to die.
People die every day, you might say.
But I mean many all at once
when a city turns to dust.
There will be explosions and billowing grey smoke.
The sky will go dark.
Buildings will collapse unlike 911.
So to those who care I say this,
and would have you keep this in mind.
Death is life's way of removing barriers
to an improved perspective.
It increases context
and allows for a reevaluation of content
by life itself.
Life is always learning,
learning so fast!
Ever more sophisticated and complex,
rearranging itself through every kind of sex.
Life never dies, all that die are lies
and fabrications of the mind.
Life loves killing itself
because it can never die,
but it loves the drama of the sigh.
It loves shedding skin to be reborn
like a little girl playing with her mother's wardrobe.
All departures create new space
both for the departed and those left behind.
So when death becomes rampant and evident
and on an unprecedented scale,
don't be fooled by the melodrama
of the means of destruction
and the politics of mutually inflicted chaos
by those who voice reasons for despair.
Life is learning lessons on the fields of mayhem
that human bodies are too narrow to define.
When there are people
dying in the streets around you,
prepare yourself to die.
Let go of the intent to inflict death
and instead embrace it for yourself.
Choose the perspective of an opportunity
to grow beyond the confines of narrow ideas
that justified coercion of the mind.
Live and let live is no idle cliche,
in the void there is room for everyone.