Sunday, February 12, 2017

Chapter 4 The Falling Towers

When thinking about the community service I was ordered to do, it entered my mind that I shouldn't worry because somehow my being tried and judged would prove in the long run to be a very good thing. It occurred to me, based on my experiences after I left Eveline, that somehow everything would come together in such a way as would provide the means for my survival and the realization of my destiny as The Messiah of Israel. But I can't say I was whole hearted and secure in this belief. A person on a roller coaster knows very well that they are safe yet they can be very scared anyway. And so was I. I did remind myself very often of this verse in the Book of Isaiah,

The blind I will lead on a road they don’t know,
on roads they don’t know I will lead them;
I will turn darkness to light before them,
and straighten their twisted paths.
These are things I will do without fail.

I didn't know where I was going and how things would work out, but somehow there must be a plan for me, as everything that had happened to me for as long as I could remember seemed so designed by a Mind of Great Wisdom, that I couldn't believe there was no purpose for my present trials and tribulations. I remembered a story my father had told me about his grandfather, the Rebbe, who had left for shul early one morning when it was still dark and was stopped by a local policeman and asked where he was going.
He said that he didn't know and the policeman brought him to the local station, thinking there must be something wrong with his mind.
When they got there, there was another Jew who was homeless and had been picked up also in the middle of the night. The Rebbe heard the Jew's story and offered him help. Then the Rebbe's wife came, having been summoned to pick up her husband.
When she asked the Rebbe why he had told the policeman that he didn't know where he was going, he simply answered, "Well, obviously I didn't know where I was going, did I ?"
A few weeks before I started the community service I was called by a reporter for a major newspaper and asked to be interviewed as a philosophy consultant in an article about such consultation replacing psychological therapy. I had stopped all such work because I simply had stopped believing in myself as being able to help someone else, as I was very stressed and unhappy with my life and well aware that what was going on in my mind might very well be encroaching insanity.
But I agreed to the interview any way.
I thought I would tell the reporter about the number 11 and it meaning a sign of communication between God and his prophets, which I was becoming. I have a tendency to do exactly what is most likely to realize my worst fears, which is true Hebrew Wisdom.
The reporter cane and interviewed me and was duly impressed with my professional experience and knowledge. She sent a photographer to take my picture and also interviewed my student, Noah Amir, as evidence of my success. When I shared with her my meaningful coincidences around the number 11 and the code in the Hebrew Bible, she was interested and told me she had just come from someone who had similar stories to tell and whose birthday was on 11/11. She did however say that she wouldn't mention this in the article for my own benefit. She looked at me with some concern.
The article appeared and had in it my phone number, a day after I started the community service
A hundred people called and left messages but I didn't call them back. I knew I was finished doing what I had done. The very thought of my philosophy, which I had called Biosophy, made me somewhat sick in the stomach.
For the first month of the community service I worked with the manager of the sports center in the office. Sometimes I sat in the guard booth at the gate but there was very little traffic so I read translations of the Dead Sea Scrolls, which were found in 11 caves.
On the Hebrew Date of 11 of Iyar, which my father had mistakenly told me was my birthday, (it was the 14th of Iyar) I had gone the year before to Quamron where the Dead Sea Scrolls had been found and took there magic mushrooms, hoping to get a sign of what I was meant to do and to thank God for my good fortune I ended up scaring the shit out of the friend who had taken me there when I shouted at the top of my very strong voice, "Thank you God, I will do now whatever you want."
I never saw him again.
Anyway, after a month the manager decided I wasn't suited for office work because I somehow succeeded in breaking the copy machine.
A book's pages I was meant to copy somehow got stuck first on page 11 and then 38, and then 47, believe it or not. Then the machine simply stopped working.
I was sent to work, cleaning and doing maintenance around the compound. I was given this machine which blew air out very strongly to push leaves off the road and I thought I am really quite a blowhard. Obviously God talks to me with ironic circumstance.
After a few weeks I had developed a friendly relationship with a Russian man who was doing community service for stabbing someone six times, albeit in self defense. Why the community service, if it was self defense, you might ask?
"Why did you have to stab him six times?" the judge had asked, too.
His name was Sasha and we would take our long breaks together and tell each other stories. Sasha told me he was a business man and he was very well to do, thus explaining his owning an expensive car he drove around and the thick, heavy gold jewelry he wore. Of particular notice was a large crucifix with the body of poor Jesus hanging on it and also a star of David, both of which he wore together on a chain. He said he wasn't a believer but he liked the symbolism of the contrast and that it was all in heavy gold, which is what really mattered. He said he was looking for something to invest in and I immediately knew that was me.
I told him that I had made a very good living teaching personal communication and giving lectures at such prestigious places as the Prime Minsters Office, the police, many schools and businesses and that now I had something new to share, that being the number 11 as a sign between God and me that my method of communication could and would change the world. At first he was skeptical, to say the least. He didn't believe in God.
But then something very strange started to happen to him. An example of this was when he put some coins into a machine for a can of soda and the machine spilled out 11 coins that added up to much more than he had put in, and a can of soda, too. He told me that he had started to see the number 11 everywhere and he was interested in investing in a business with me.
He asked me what we should do and I suggested we put an add in the paper inviting people to a lecture on the number 11 and Godly intervention in the affairs of mankind. As an example I had told him that Armistice Day was on November 11th, and that I had first been married that day, and about the UN resolution of the 29th of November, 1947, etc. etc. But none of this had made a dent in his disbelief until he started having experiences of his own. I suggested we find and rent a room to give lectures in and from the lectures we would sign people up for a workshops. He said he would pay for it all and I should start looking for a place to give lectures and then we would print up large advertisements and paste them all over Tel Aviv, once we had a date and and a place for the lectures.
I shopped around and finally decided on The Zionist House of America on Ibn Gvirol Street in Tel Aviv. A very central location and easy to get to for those coming by foot.
They gave me room 11 by mistake, as the room had been taken by someone who was forced to do their thing somewhere else. Sasha witnessed this himself and broke out in a very big grin. He was sure he was about to become very rich off the fruit of my labor.
The next few nights I spent gluing the posters Sasha had printed, all over Tel Aviv, with someone Sasha had hired to drive me around,
The posters spoke of someone (me) who had entered the secret orchard like Rabbi Akiva and had come out in peace with a mystery resolved and a means of achieving transcendent happiness.
I really had no idea what I was saying or what I was doing, to be honest.
There were to be four lectures, once a week, during the month of August, 2001.
So many people came to the first lecture that there wasn't room for everyone. Sasha and a partner of his, charged at the door 33 shekels, which people paid with no complaints.
I spoke of taking the red pill, like in the movie The Matrix, because it had a very messianic motif. I said that anyone who adopted my communication to self method would find God.
I don't remember much of what I said, actually. I just talked whatever came into my mind and the people seemed to like what I had to say.
For the second lecture we moved to a larger room and it was full too. People brought their friends to hear me speak about communicating with God through honest self description, that being the essence of the whole Torah.
As Moses had said,in The Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 30, starting from verse 11-

11 For this mitzvah which I am giving you today is not too hard for you, it is not beyond your reach. 12 It isn’t in the sky, so that you need to ask, ‘Who will go up into the sky for us, bring it to us and make us hear it, so that we can obey it?’ 13 Likewise, it isn’t beyond the sea, so that you need to ask, ‘Who will cross the sea for us, bring it to us and make us hear it, so that we can obey it?’ 14 On the contrary, the word is very close to you — in your mouth, even in your heart; therefore, you can do it!

The only thing one really does with both one's heart and one's mouth is make sure there is the same thing in both of them. In other words, tell at least one's self, the truth.

The first two lectures were a huge success.

Sasha said he would rent me an apartment where I could live with my kids and give workshops and lectures. He would pay for everything. All I needed to do was to commit myself to giving all my time and energy to the business and he would make all the financial investments necessary. He was absolutely certain that I was a gold mind. I mean mine.
Sasha had told me that he had made his money as a security contractor for night clubs. That he had been doing it for years.
But after the second lecture when he heard how important it is to tell the truth if one wants one's blessings to continue, he told me the truth.
He was a pimp.
He had two escort companies with tens of girls. He wanted to diversify his business with something legitimate.
I thought....this is so amazingly ironic, God is really laughing at me.
No. With ME.
God has a real sense of humor. He is a Master of the Literary Arts.
He knows how to tell a story. The Story of the Messiah.
I had spent thousands and thousands of shekels on prostitutes in my life and now that money was coming back to me to save my life.
But I was suddenly confused. One doesn't bring the earnings of a whore to the temple.
I told Sasha that we should wait to see how many people sign up for the workshop before he invests any more money and I wondered myself what I was supposed to do.
Was it possible that God wanted me to teach truth telling funded by the prostitutes who worked for Sasha?
Was there some kind of hidden moral message here for mankind concerning the true nature of sin? That an honest whore is better than a lying Rabbi who condemns whores?
I went to lay down in the sun on a sun chair and contemplated the ethics of accepting Sasha's very generous offer. It had the appearance of being an answer to my prayers yet I felt very uneasy about it. I was addicted to sex. It just didn't make sense that I wouldn't be cured of my addiction as part of my transformation.
There are only three words in Hebrew that equal 1111. One of them is והתמכרתם which means " you will be addicted."
And then The Prophet Samuel tells the young Saul that he will be the Messiah and King of Israel, but also tells him,
ונהפכת לאיש אחר

or "you will become a different man".
That also equals 1111 in Gematria.
And I had expected to be turned into an un-addicted man before I became any one's Messiah.
God knows how hard I had tried to stop going to prostitutes. There was a new one I had met recently. A beauty. No older than 22, petite and blond. She was really just an erotic massage girl,I thought when I met her, while doing the community service. She worked at a new place that had opened between my home and the sports complex. It turned out that she owned the place that she worked at, with a partner, that worked there too. Sometimes I got service from her and her partner together. She liked me a lot and we once met for coffee.She used to call me on the phone just to ask how I was doing. She would say, "Come just for coffee, you don't have to get a massage." Her partner was born on November 11 and she told me this after I shared with her what was happening between me and Sasha. I would sit there for hours talking to her and she would make me coffee and listen to me tell stories.
But I felt guilty,
Yet something inside me told me it was OK. I was meant to take whatever comfort and pleasure I could this way and I heard in my heart even that I deserved this compensation for my miseries.
I did tell myself that I was just justifying my inability to stop. I was confused.
So there I was lying in the sun, thinking about all this with my eyes closed, feeling tense but much better since giving lectures and seeing how orchestrated the events of my life were. Surely God had a plan for me.
Gently I began to feel a presence besides me. And then in my mind's eye, I saw an apparition as if someone was standing behind me with their hand outstretched before me and a long sleeve of brown cloth fell down from what looked like an arm. There were three distinct coins in their hand and it was as if they were showing me the coins.
I opened my eyes and of course there was no one there. The impression that remained was very real, however, particularly the sight of the three coins.
I googled "three coins" and discovered for the first time in my life that there was an ancient Chinese method of divination that used the tossing of three coins that gave a pattern from which could be induced how to confront the future. It was based on faith in synchronicity as the means by which Divine Will can be known to man.
My Hebrew genes refused to pursue the issue. No divination for me, thank you very much! So what if an angel had tried to cause me to sway from the Torah of Moses?
As it is written,

" 9 “When you enter the land Adonai your God is giving you, you are not to learn how to follow the abominable practices of those nations. 10 There must not be found among you anyone who makes his son or daughter pass through fire, a diviner, a soothsayer, an enchanter, a sorcerer, 11 a spell-caster, a consulter of ghosts or spirits, or a necromancer. 12 For whoever does these things is detestable to Adonai, and because of these abominations Adonai your God is driving them out ahead of you. 13 You must be wholehearted with Adonai your God. (v) 14 For these nations, which you are about to dispossess, listen to soothsayers and diviners; but you, Adonai your God does not allow you to do this.

There was a free service on the internet where one could do an I Ching reading but I refused to do it.

The next day, feeling very proud of myself and my whole hearted faith, I sat in the same chair in the same place in the sun, at about the same time.
Something made me open my eyes and I saw sparks around a few blades of grass near my feet. Curious, I leaned closer and found three shining shekel coins, one next to another. It was not under my pocket and I couldn't imagine how they got there.

I did decide to do an I Ching reading on the internet. God had told Abraham to kill his own son so a little divination couldn't be so bad, after all.

The answer was unequivocal.

As interpreted on the site of the I Ching, the reading I got was to finish all obligations and severe all ties to whom I was doing business with.

I told myself I would tell the listeners at my lecture that I was unambiguously a messenger from God come to save humanity from themselves. They would all conclude that I was crazy and no one would sign up for the workshop- and thus I could free myself from Sasha and his plans to make a legitimate fortune from my 11 synchronicity.

The only trouble is, some 14 people signed up anyway.
It was to be 484 shekels for four meetings, but I told Sasha it wasn't worth renting an apartment for so few people and I would give the workshop at my apartment.
In general I told him I had great doubts about his investing more money before I gave more lectures and more people signed up. I also told him the coming holidays in September, 2001, made it difficult to set a date when everyone could come on the same day, which was true.
Among the people who signed up was a woman who said she would help me write a workbook for workshops and I had been thinking about this for a long while as something I wanted to do. She had introduced me to a lawyer who expressed interest when she told him about my lectures and my method of communication.
About six people could be coordinated for the workshop and we had two meetings which went very well before September 11, 2001, when American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the Twin Towers.

Art for Art's Sake!

Rotating 11:11 is becoming 11 square 11 square Love heart Angel Love heart

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!


Jonathan Michael Robbins

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יונתן מיכאל רבינס

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