Thursday, February 16, 2017

The " In Your Face" Attitude of Hebrew Prophets and Me!

It is my belief that my subjective experiences are of vast historical importance
and therefor I have not the privilege to keep the workings of my mind a secret.
I am fully aware that anyone one reading this will see it as a symptom of megalomania
and it is a fact that I am a man who has been medically and legally determined to be insane.
So I can fully empathize with those who react to my proclamations with disdain.
That I empathize with my family and friends and strangers who consider me insane
doesn't mean their attitude doesn't bring me pain. It does bring me pain and great suffering.
I am not only like all others in that in my humanity I prefer that others respect the workings of my mind,
I have a particularly compassionate nature and have always striven to relieve the suffering and anguish 
of others. I made a very good living and achieved national fame as a professional listener
and I taught compassionate communication and empathy all over the country.
I, by my nature, care what others think of me, as do most people. I am not by any means a psychopath.
I hate to cause others pain and I have felt deep guilt and regret for doing so. I have always made great efforts
to make amends with those I have grieved and have never given up in doing so
when unable to make peace in the real world with those I know myself to have sinned against.
So I don't blame people for not believing me when I say I am A Hebrew Prophet and The Messiah
and that my lifetime will serve as a pivotal twist in the ascendant transcendence of human spirituality.
I hear fully well what I am saying and what I am claiming as if I wasn't myself, as if I didn't see within me,
all that I do see, that enables me to claim wholeheartedly as I do, that I am A Hebrew Prophet of Israel and Israel's Messiah, The Son of David. I have been taken away as an Instrument Of Divine Will!
As  I changed and became another man,
שמואל א' פרק י, פסוק ו':
וצלחה עליך רוח יהוה והתנבית עמם ונהפכת לאיש אחר”=1111

Then the Spirit of Adonai will fall on you; you will prophesy with them and be turned into another man
as The Hebrew Prophet Samuel told Saul he would, on the occasion that he anointed Saul as Israel's future Messiah King, I recognized within myself certain  behavioral reactions to others when they scorned me and treated me with disdain, behaviors that became ever more pronounced as I surrendered to what I chose to believe was my divinely designed destiny. I cannot deny that my choice was partly the consequence of feelings I experienced that resulted from the rejection of my family and my girlfriend and friends when I tried to share with them that I was experiencing something uniquely sublime, a transcendent transformation of my psyche that enabled me to encompass in my mind a vast unfolding historical narrative. centered around the History of The Jews. ll living things on the planet. That was and remains what is going on inside me until this very day. But when I was rejected, I reacted with an "in your face " attitude of defiance and rejection myself, this according to Newton's Laws- which are psychological principles of behavior, too. Every action  that affects another causes a reaction.  I felt I needed to defend myself from doubt at all costs and my desire to maintain harmony with those I love and cared for, decreased in importance, when it conflicted with my growing conviction that what was happening to me was good for all mankind. I considered my self a soldier being drafted into The Army of God.
A narrative that demonstrated the Certain Existence of a Designer God, The Omnipotent  God of Art, whose creation manifests in our minds as a dynamic narrative of a growing harmony of diversity, in a process whereby humanity would eventually unite as the custodian for a

  צבא יהוה=119
יהושע פרק ה, פסוק טו':
ויאמר שר-צבא יהוה אל יהושע של-נעלך מעל רגלך, כי המקום אשר אתה עמד עליו, קדש הוא; ויעש יהושע, כן"
The commander of Adonai’s army answered Y’hoshua, “Take your sandals off your feet, because the place where you are standing is holy.”And Y’hoshua did so
Now I was a combat soldier in the Israeli paratroops and had been drafted to go to war in Lebanon several times as well as during the Gulf War, when Iraqi Scud Missiles fell just hundreds of meters from the apartment I was living in, with my wife and children. I left my family behind and reported for duty, willing to give my life for my people, something I had actually been sworn to do when I first joined the army. I had to trust that the government of Israel would take care of my family were I to be killed or maimed and made unable to support my loved ones. So the idea of putting my own well being and the well being of my family and loved ones in the hands of a higher power was something I had been indoctrinated to do and I did so in the past with the full conviction it was the right thing for me to do as a member of my nation. We are taught that subordinating our personal interests to those of the nation as an act of service is the right, the moral thing to do and some, if not all, human beings seem to have this behavior programmed into their genes much like ants do.
David And Goliath?

Now I was being called for duty by the albeit invisible Kingdom of Heaven, had been shown signs I believed were sure proof that God was King and The Master of My Destiny and it was incumbent upon me to behave according to the Torah of Moses where it says, " You will love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your spirit and with all your striving for the most!" That meant to me that I should love and obey God at all expense and follow His Will for me at all costs. If I was willing to do so for my people and my national identity, how could I refuse to do so for God Almighty Himself?
So in the face of the rejection I slowly began to adopt an attitude of self enforcement wherein I gave so much value to the idea that God was within me and directing me to walk away from every one, I also compensated for my sense of  insult by becoming aggressively arrogant. I couldn't help myself. It is human nature. The idea of being God's powerful agent  on the face of the earth, against all odds, against the flow of humanity itself, a revolutionary and evolutionary agent of  historical consequences, frankly, went to my head.
I explained the difference between me and others by telling myself I was a genetically manufactured spiritual mutation. Which I still believe might be true. As usual, number synchronicity reinforced this idea.
"Jonathan Michael  Robbins is a Mutant" In Hebrew is יונתן מיכאל  רבינס הוא מוטציה and this equals 1111, too.

Now this behavior of mind was not peculiar to me. It seems all the Hebrew Prophets, perhaps without exception, starting from Moses, demonstrated this same "in your face" attitude. Some might call it Chutzpah.
Moses certainly stood up to Pharaoh and professed, as God told him to...

Exodus 4-
   22 "Then you are to tell Pharaoh: ‘Adonai says, “Isra’el is my firstborn son. 23 I have told you to let my son go in order to worship me, but you have refused to let him go. Well, then, I will kill your firstborn son!

If threatening to kill Pharaoh's son isn't an "in your face" attitude, I don't know what is.  Now I felt justified in feeling this swelling arrogance within me and honestly it felt like compensation for the misery I experienced when ridiculed and scorned by many and later particularly on the Internet when I wrote of my journey and openly claimed to be The Messiah. I did however feel uncomfortable when comparing myself and my behavior to The Hebrew Prophets who were known for their humility, with Moses in particular being described as the most humble man on the face of the earth. 
"...Numbers 12-3 " Now this man Moshe was very humble, more so than anyone on earth..
במדבר פרק יב, פסוק ג':
 “והאיש משה ענו מאד מכל האדם אשר על פני האדמה"
The value of the Hebrew phrase "Now this man Moses was very humble" is 838, just like the value of my name, Jonathan Robbins- in Hebrew ,יונתן רבינס

A very blatant example of the "In Your Face" attitude of Hebrew Prophets is Amos and what he said when he was told he must run away because The King of Israel couldn't tolerate Amos'  prophecies about the coming destruction of Israel. Amos was warned to run for his life and responded with this. 

      16 So now, hear what Adonai says: ‘You say, “Don’t prophesy against Isra’el, don’t lecture the people of Yitz’chak.”’ 17 Therefore Adonai says this:
‘Your wife will become a whore in the city,
your sons and daughters will die by the sword,
your land will be parcelled out with a measuring line,
you yourself will die in an unclean land,
and Isra’el will certainly be exiled from their land.’”

I can't imagine a more "in your face" response than that. Can you?  I can't imagine that Amos had his own welfare in mind when he responded like this. A Hebrew Prophet has great internal struggles as he tries to be reasonable and sociable in his conduct but is moved to say things and do things that serve God's Narrative concerning the nature of His relationship with mankind in general, with The Children of Israel acting in particular as an example for the world on human nature and it's reluctance to realize no human has any power whatsoever, ever, except as such virtually manifests  in accordance with The Creator's Creative Will. This is expressed explicitly in The Hebrew Bible and through out History, and as explained by His Hebrew Prophets to the nations.

This is what The Hebrew Prophet Jeremiah had to say about such struggles, and what he asks God to do to those who repay his prayers for them- with derision and threats of violence.

19 Pay attention to me, Adonai!
Listen to what my opponents are saying!
20 Is good to be repaid with evil?
For they have dug a pit [to trap] me.
Remember how I stood before you
and spoke well of them,
in order to turn your anger
away from them?

21 Therefore, hand their sons over to famine,
hurl them into the power of the sword,
let their wives be made childless and widows,
let their husbands be slain by disease,
let their young men be slain by the sword in battle,

22 let screams be heard from their houses
when you bring raiders on them without warning.
For they have dug a pit to catch me
and have laid snares for my feet.

23 Nevertheless, Adonai, you know
all their plans against me to stop me.
Do not forgive their crime,
do not blot out their sin from your sight;
but let them be made to stumble before you;
deal with them when you are angry.

I admit to having walked the streets cursing everyone and everything around me, like The Hebrew Prophets before me, if one is to believe the Bible concerning the behavior of real Hebrew Prophets like I do. Now for a moment I don't believe that my walking the streets naked or my shouting out at the top of my very loud voice that fire would fall from the heavens on the heads of the deceitful liars, who inhabit the Land of Israel and bow down to the work of their own hands, or, my writing curses against those who told me I am insane and psychotic long before I was, just for saying I believe  myself to be A Prophet and The Messiah, Son of David, I don't believe that my angry bursts of curses in any way or form are proof that I am a Prophet! I never ever said to anyone that they have to believe me just for my saying that I am what I believe myself to be. I asked to be listened to, to explain to anyone who was willing to listen why I believed what I did. And there were those who did listen and there were those who came to believe what I said of myself. But their faith eventually wavered and dwindled and went out  when things did not work out to their own benefit as they imagined would happen for their supporting me, sometimes at the expense of their own reputation. Yes, there were those who made real financial and emotional sacrifices on my behalf, saying to others that they have come to believe of me what I have said of myself.
I never flattered the people who did so, nor did I encourage them. I sensed that they had in mind some kind of worldly gain as reward for their faith and I actually did everything I could to discourage them with warnings that The God I believed in considered us like putty in his Hand and He could be completely unpredictable but demanded our total surrender, faith and worship, anyway.
And so I believe as well today.
Forever my Prayer,
His Will Be Done, Not Mine!
I do not flatter myself with the thought that God has filled me up perfectly with what is only His Will because I don't pretend to know the future and whether I will be happy in it. I know with certainty that everything I do and say is exactly as He would have it. I suffer and am often in great pain, physical and psychic. Yet I wouldn't for even a moment have my life different than what it is, I wouldn't change place with anyone else alive or dead. My experience of God is far greater than I had ever imagined it could be and this is the realization of my deepest and greatest aspirations. I am happy with what I have in life despite materiel poverty.
I still hope some day to share more of what wisdom God has flowing through me. In the mean time I will continue writing on the internet knowing that what I leave on the net will be there some day for who ever is intended to find it and discover what The God of Art has done with me.

1111=דברי יהוה אל יונתן רבינס=Words of God to Jonathan Robbins
119=נביא ליהוה= Prophet of God=King David=המלך דויד

November 11th, 2017

A Catastrophic Tragedy. Maybe Not!


Jonathan Michael Robbins

= 939=

יונתן מיכאל רבינס

No comments:

Post a Comment